Please, read on if you are single and tired of the
Getting a Nigerian man to marry you is the
easiest thing in the world. This is your chance to
stop being single and get a-mingling. These easy
steps will get you married, bedded, bare foot
and pregnant in less than a year, guaranteed or
your money back.
– Be very religious. Nigerian men loveeeee them
some religious girls. you don’t actually have to
be, you just have to pretend that you are. talk
about the night vigils you go to every now and
then. slip in some Bible passages in random
conversations even when they don’t fit in. Give
him a Bible for his birthday. call him randomly
for “morning prayers”. a nigerian man will
marry a woman who appears to be religious.
fake it till you get that ring baby girl.
– Pretend to be maternal. Pretend that you love
children so much. especially other people’s
children. coo at them at grocery stores, malls,
lounges, planes. talk about how much you love
children. carry his friends’ kids all day long.
offer to help feed them. it doesn’t matter that
you don’t love other people’s kids and think
that children can be such dicks from a very
early age, it should not matter. pretend girl.
you’re auditioning to be his baby popper, act
– Don’t ever mention that you’re a “feminist”.
femi-gini? that poo don’t live here miss. Bleep
women rights. accept all traditional roles even
when you’re dating. when you are dating him,
make sure his food is ready as soon as he walks
through that door Dam. it doesn’t matter that
you’re in school or you are also working like
him, poo like that don’t matter. you have to
show your man that you can put your back into
it and be that super woman who will clean,
cook, pop your back in bed and still pop out
– You gats deny all them man them. Have you
ever had sex? made out with someone?
ummm…you don’t have to tell your nigerian
man that. when you’re asked your body count is
1 or 2, never more than 3 though cos you’re
already side stepping into whoredom. never
mind that your nigerian man’s count is like 54,
who cares? he’s only out there bleeping
everything in skirt so that he can impress you in
bed. all of what he does is for you, you ingrate!!
he’s out there putting his joystick in everything in
other to come home and please you in bed and
you have the guts to say you have a body count
of more than 3? if any man claims he has slept
with you, cry and swear that you know no such
man. refer to rule number 1, start quoting Bible
passages about how your enemies are chasing
you and poo.
that whole subtracting 7 from your body count
is bullshit. you only have 3 choices: 1, 2, or 3.
other than that, you might as well just remain
– A nigerian man has needs that only you can’t
meet. you have to give him some pen*s room.
why are you being selfish? let men be men. let
them have wings to fly. don’t be asking him
why he came home late. you smell perfume on
him? be happy that some girl is keeping him
moisturized and smelling all good. that’s one
thing you don’t have to do today. Let them have
some fun girl, you just want that ring on your
finger don’t you? relax. that diamond that you
can instagram with well manicured fingers is
– Last but not least, cook up a storm!!! your man
should not be going hungry. cater to his food
palette girl!! if you don’t cook for him some
other girl will cook for him and steal him away.
cook him new delicacies all day, find out how
his mother used to do it, cook for his friends
too. why do you want to eat in restaurant? Dam
please use that money and take your arse to the
grocery store and make that man some food. let
him save that money he would have used to take
you out on your ring darling. be wise. a stitch in
time saves nine.
This is my good deed for the day. Let him who
have ears, listen or something like that.
Written For http://www.globalruns.com