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  1. Bluestarry


    This is the continuation of MY DIRTY ADVENTURE WITH MY BOSS AND CO-WORKERS. Stay glued. It promise too be fun fill. Thanks
    summary of part 1
    Being wanted in uyo, me And my guys escaped
    to calabar after rescuing
    me from the hands of my kidnappers.
    I was wanted because i had an affair with the
    wife of the former
    commissioner of finance, she was my boss and
    the owner of the company
    which i worked. And my sugar-mummy to be
    I also had affair with my colleugue, aminat, a
    very wild, hot and sexy
    girl. Who angrily left me because of the last
    time we did it. I was
    very wild, thought she loved it wild.
    Mr peter: ex commissioner, husband of Mrs
    Chinyere: my girlfriend whom i met in lagos
    during my schools days. I
    ran way from lagos when she told me she was
    Happiness: the daughter to my landlord. Whom
    i almost got killed when
    her dad found out our secret.
    Ella: the ex to my frien, Joe.
    Adamu: a very ugly man who manNed the gate
    of Mrs Sandra my boss, and
    sugar mummy.
    Cockroach: we fought once but later became
    friends. He was the one
    that rescued me when i was kidnapped.
    Rock: he Joined in my rescue.
    Ini: she stole my laptop and money but also
    aided my rescue from the
    hands of the thugs.

  2. Bluestarry


    We arrived egerton area. Captain instructed and direct joe the road he should take.
    He said his cousin lived in marina road. We Drove to marina street and located the compound. It was a ghetto like compound. The house were facing each other. Much like hostel.
    Me and captain got down and went to one of the guys. People were going about their normal activities. We approached a man.
    Me: “good day sir. Please we are looking for…..”
    Captain: “danger. He lives here”.
    Man: “danger? Ohh he parked out last week”. Bad news. That what i dreaded happening. Were where we going to sleep?.
    Captain: “sir do you know where he relocated to?”.
    Man: “i heard he now lives in akwa ibom… I saw him yesterday at the uyo stadium.. ” captain’s eyes met with mine and we laughed. The man looked at us as if we were insane.
    Me :”thanks for your time” i said and we walked away.
    Captain: “plans don biada o”.
    Me: “am telling you” we said as we approached the car.
    Rock: “how far na”
    captain: “the guy don push this state o”.
    Joe: “ahhhh! Wetin be this na” joe lamented.
    Me: “we de sleep hotel na”.
    Joe countenance was bright, he smiled. I wondered what was on his dirty mind.
    Joe: “are you sure? Babes go cry o”.
    Everyone laughed.
    Me: “i no go ever bleep again for this life”. I said and everyone laughed.
    Rock went behind the steering and we drove outta the compound.
    Joe: “blue tell us wetin happen na. How dem take cash you”.
    Me: “da shun o that story for the gods”. Everyone laughed. The two guys with guns werent participating in the discussion. I tried bringing them in.
    Me: “ogas abeg wetin be una names? I thank una for saving me out” i extended a handshake.
    Captain: “this one na spark the other one na arrow”.
    Spark: “broz i think say you no go greet us o”.
    Me: “why i no for greet una na”.
    Arrow:” oga cockroach next junction, blue afa na”.
    Me: “50km”.
    Joe: “you don start again ba?”.
    Me: “wetin? Captain abeg were we go lay head”.
    Rock: “why you dey call am captain?”
    Me: “e don do baptism na so change in name”
    Night had started creeping in. We droped the spark and arrow. Captain collected one of their guns and handed it over to the smiling rock. He collected, kissed it a patted the frame.
    “love you baby” he said.
    Me: “you go marry am?”.
    Joe: ” e be like say the beating dem dash you no reach”.
    Me: “na your father dem beat”.
    We got to a hotel, joe payed for a room and we went in.
    The bed was large and could accomodate all of us. It was already night. I took a shower and fell on the bed. The rest guys were nowhere to be found. They went sight seeing the beautiful city of calabar.
    I almost slept off when my phone rang. It was my dad. My heart skipped a beat. Have he gotten the news? Ahhhhhh! That one na disownment im go do.
    Me: i picked with shaking hands “hello sir”
    pman: “son how are you?” ahh thank god, his speaking tone was normal.
    Me: ” am okay sir…how is mummy and everyone”
    pman: “they are fine… You dont want visiting. When are you coming?”
    I swallowed hard.
    Me: “am not in uyo presently am in lagos.. Representing our company”
    pman: “that good… Hope you have no problems”
    me: “no….just some minor financial problems”
    pman: “okay ill send you money tomorrow. Take care of yourself”
    me: i was excited “thanks sir..my greetings to mum and all”
    pman:” okay bye” he hung up.
    I heaved a sigh of relief. I slept off.pangs of hunger woke me up in the night. I opened my eyes, lo rock was ontop a lady. Just then, joe emerged with a white babe from the bathroom, they were both Unclad.
    we were four guys who loved adventure. One of us was a betrayer(joe) the other was the leader(captain) the other was the hitman(rock) and the last was the fine boy(blue).
    I am bluestarry, joe and rock calls me man on fire, girls calls me blue and captain calls me flames.

  3. Bluestarry

    Chapter 3
    I was tempted to join the crew, but held myself.
    A girl came to me..
    Rock: “you wan Do pope? Thunder for fire you ehhh” every one laughed..
    The girl quietly left me to continue in what she came for. I sat helplessly on the bed with a raging jt. I was afraid of female. They can kill you know! They almost killed me if not of a fellow female that saved me.
    I had nothing doing, an idea occured to me. I quietly brought out my phone and videod them. I got tired and
    tossed the phone off. I needed to get some sleep.I woke up the next day with pains all over my body. The girls had gone. Captain wasnt seen. I sluggishly rose and had my bath, and we had our breakfast.
    Me: “wey una carry those babes of yesterday?”
    Rock: “unical”
    joe: “you wan carry your own?”
    Me: “you no like me atall. Where captain go?”
    Rock: “e wan go drop the babes”
    Later in the morning, captain came back, he said he had found an agent that was going to help us rent an apartment.
    Rock and captain went out to find the house. I and joe were left in the hotel. I gat nothing doing so i played ps on my lappy.
    Around 2pm, the duo that went in search of the house came back. Luckily they had found one. it was a two bedroom flat. We were going to manage that till we find a four bedroom apartment.
    We packed out of the hotel. My luggage wasnt much, just my travelling bag and hp bag. Joe luggage was terrible, his travelling box was much like a coffin.
    We went out of the hotel premises by 3:30pm.
    The house was along 8miles. We got there and unpacked.
    The were two rooms and a very small sitting room. And the sitting room was situated at the backside of our room
    Whoever drew the plan of that house or build the house was obviously a yaba left patient.
    Rock: “so how we go stay naw”
    Captain:”two people one room like that go better”
    Me: “i wan crash with captain o”
    Joe:” me i dey crash parlour”
    Captain: “no body dey sleep parlour, na kitchen be dat”.
    I choosed to stay with captain, i really liked that guy. He had brain.
    We all set to arrange our different room. The was no bed, captain went to buy one while i set to arrange the room.
    All was done and finish by 4pm. We choosed our room to be the assembling ground whenever we have meetings. We all assembled there, it was meeting.
    Rock:”how we go dey parole for this town?”
    Joe:” we gas look for work o”
    Me:” babaj go come soon o for joe to talk about work”
    joe:”young man dont insult me….”
    Rock:”i swear calabar girls go cry”
    Joe:”no dey brag rubbish…you pass man on fire?”
    joe:” see small boy o”
    Captain:”una don mad ni..i call una to come discuss una dey brag for …”
    me:”no mind the goat, adamu fine pass am”
    Rock:”who be adamu?”
    me:”no worry you go soon know”.
    A knock came on the door, i volunteered to open it. I opened and was shock to see him. He was the pot bellied nepa guy that almost dupe me back then in uyo.

    He came to collect the bills, raising the price to 8k. I foolishly gave him the money, but after i realised i was cheated, i collected back my money which made him angry.
    What was he doing in calabar?

  4. Bluestarry

    I took a step backward .
    Me: “you don come this side?”.
    Nepa guy: “you nko? Wetin you de do for here?”.
    Me:”ahhh me i be citizen na”
    nepa guy: “wey my money?”
    me: “haba i no hold you money na”.
    Captain overheard our conversation and came out.
    Captain: “blue who you the talk with….ahhh broz na you….” he extended a handshake.
    The nepa guy said he resigned from his job. Who im dey lie for? Something wey dem sack am e come dey talk rubbish.

    Everyone had retired to their rooms. I was playing grand theft while captain was making a call.
    My phone beep, i had a message. My pman had sent half a million to my account. I was happy. I was sure going to enjoy my stay in calabar.
    “why you dey smile? You don mad?” captain asked. “madness don catch me na”
    “na you talk am o…tomorrow we dey start work o”
    “work? Abeg shun that one”.
    “me i dey start o de only money i get na 70k”.
    “if you like na”.
    When night was creeping in, we went out and sat on a wood in the front of the compound The was a log of wood on the ground with bricks, we went to sit down.
    Joe suggested we go back to hotel we had slept so that he can hook up with prostitute faster.
    Captain and i disagreed with them. How will you spend money sleeping with every thing you see on skirt. Captain was angry. They started throwing words at each other, passersby were giving glances at us. I didnt expect rock to join joe. Joe’s case was understood, his own na curse. But rock took up the argument to another level.
    “i use my money pay for house and you go come carry prostitute enter” i was surprised. So it was captain that paid for the house.
    “na so you go talk ehhh? You no follow do yesterday?’.
    “no mind am” joe added.
    “no worry carry girl enter my house na, you go see”
    “na so? The money wey i pay for hotel yesterday nko? The babe wey you do no be me pay am?” joe ranted.
    “no worry i talk anything?” captain asked.
    I didnt join them in their argument.
    I just sat listening to them. At first i think say na play o
    “i go bring babe come this house tonight and you no go fit do anything” joe said rising from his seat. Captain laughed.
    “if you get liver, small muscle you no get…” captain mouthed.
    “muscle? No be blue here nack you? Ehhh you think say i i….i….mtcheww e be like say i don too play with pikin….if you play with goat you go smell goat” ahhhhh? I really expected captain to rise that moment and give him the beatings of his life, but he didnt move, he was staring into space with an evil grin on his dark lips. I wondered what was going on his mind. He slowly rose from the log.
    “semanaya ilopak kekerila aposu” he said in a language i havent heared in my entire life before. Who knows maybe it had become extinct. Or was he a christian? Was he speaking in tongues? No! Dey guy bad pass satan sef.
    “guy repeat that thing…talk am again” he said walking close to joe. He stupidly said it again.
    I again expected him to dash on joe and tear him into pieces.
    He only gave him a deadly look. I dont know if joe was high or something. The next thing i witnessed was joe pushing him. Ahhhh! Dey guy don pass boundary be dat.
    He laughed, very loud.Captain bounced back into the house. Minutes later he emerged with his wallet and walked past us. I was surprise and so was everyone. Even powerful joe and rock the great orator were silent. He walked to where god knows. I saw him asking a women something. Guess it was directions. Was captain leaving us, finding a new house?
    We sat there hours, anticipating his return, none of us spoke a word. I decided to break the tension.
    “joe you no try o ”
    “no talk any rubbish o”he said standing up. No one told me to keep shut.
    After some minutes, we saw captain alighting from a bike. He had somthing in his hands. It was a matchet. He walked over to us. I swear he wasnt smiling.

  5. Bluestarry

    Chapter 4

    Captain walked over to us, joe was sweating while rock stood up and took a step backward, he stumbled on the log of wood and fell backwards. I laughed.
    Captain gave joe a deadly look and unsheath his matchet. His eyes was bloodshot.
    “repeat am again joe” he ordered taking a step forward. The kind fear wey
    catch joe no dey for book. The guy leg don dey shake o.
    “ahhhh! Sir na play i play o no vex am sorry” joe said. Rock laughed and so did i.
    “repeat am again”
    “na play i play i swear…person no dey play with you again….ahhh sir am sorry”he stammerd, by then captain had reached where he was sitting. Joe continued begging.
    “you want bring girl come my house abi?”
    “ahhh na play i play na…girl na life? …but sir make i bring am just for this night abeg…i fit die..” captain laughed.
    “you need deliverance” i said. Captain left him and went into the house.
    I stood up and went into the house, captain was making a call, picked my wallet and walked out of the house.
    I needed a good place to sit and examine the city of calabar. Kellys eatery served that purpose, it was situated opposite the busy road.
    I ordered for jollof rice. The waitress catwalked to my table and delivered my choice, she was sexy though slim, very slim
    I gave her a charming smile, she winked. Jackpot!
    “hi..what your name pretty?” i asked. She dropped the tray and walked away.
    I was surprised by the sudden swing in begaviour. Any ways, i vowed not to go near a girl again. I devoured my food quickly. Darkness had covered everywhere. I was surprise to see the waitress coming my table again. She droped a piece of paper on my table and walked away.
    I took the paper, on it was a number, i brought out my phone and saved the number as “lepakelly”.
    It was then i realised all eyes in the hall was on me. I had turn a celebrity over night. Some of the girls were smiling, i smiled back. Finished my food, paid the bill and left the place.I didnt felt like going home so i went to a barbing saloon. Guys were playing ps2.
    The barbing saloon was boring, no space to play. I decided going home. On my way home, i branched a shop to buy food.
    A woman was sitting inside the shop with a young girl. The shop was a big one and was stocked with different varieties of gooods, let me say a supermarket. The woman, was the owner while the young girl was her daughter. A girl of 16 years. She looked mature for her age, like a girl of 18.
    The woman was an age mate of mrs sandra, though taller than her. She was staring at me as i bought the dry bread.

  6. Bluestarry

    I was secretly ogling at the young vibrant girl that was attending to me.
    She walked past me to get a loaf of bread, i intended giving captain.
    “how much is this one?” i asked.
    “N280. While this is N200” what an angelic voice.
    “okay this one” she wrapped it and handed it over to me.
    I almost walked out of the shop when she called me back.
    “my mother is calling you” she said.
    “what the problem?”
    “your money is torn”
    “ohhh sorry let me see it?”
    “it with my mum”
    I walked back into the shop. The woman stood up and showed me the torn place. Ahhhh! If na so money de tear na im be say all naira don tear. As she stood up, my eyes travelled down to her wonderful back. Chineke! I screamed within not knowing i mistakenly mouthed out the words physically.
    The young girl giggled. Our eyes met and she quickly looked away, her fair cheeks red. My ever silly jt was getting active.
    My mouth was slightly agape as i stared at her. Chioma no near this one.
    She saw the effect she was having on me and smiled. She was pretty no doubt, though a little bit plumb.
    I can swear ive never seen such a back in my life, it can kill a guy you know.
    My jt was hard, i stlyishly put my hands in my pocket and controlled my the head.
    The woman knew what i was i doing, her smile turned grinned. Her daughter had moved inside the shop. I composed myself once again.
    “sorry ma, please am not with another, the tear is not big na”
    “the tear is big…customers wound not collecting it. You know na” oboy! Feel english. I coughed.
    “wetin be your name” she asked.
    “okay…after you coming and give na when you having it…dont gorgoting it oo” she said displaying her white teeth. “you don enta”, my mind screamed at me.
    The young girl re-emerged from the store and leaned by the door, her hands crossed over her chest. My eyes once again checked out her nice figure.
    The woman frowned noticing my attention on her daughter giving me that “dont-you-try” look. I smiled.
    “thanks ma, ill bring it tomorrow morning” i said pushing the stuborn non-poisonous snake between my laps. Her eyes darted down and she shook her head, maybe in pity. I was very embarrassed. The young girl was keenly watching me. I wanted to go but my legs refused moving.
    Just then two women entered the shop discussing things within themselves. Two of them were possessed with excess flesh which resulted in their oversized bakassi. They came into the shop, they felt the tension between us and their eyes were fixed on me.
    “okay dont forgetting o am just trying you if you failing me i will be anger” she said in queen english, i nodded and turned.
    “you have forgotten your bread sir” the young girl said.
    “ohhh thanks” i picked as i turned, the fragile leather snapped, making the bread roll out. Forgetting about my jt, i removed my hand and bent down to pick the bread,
    “abassiiii o” i heared as i caught hold of the bread.
    When i stood up, their eyes followed me up and stopped at my groin, where the biggest bulge of the year had grew.
    I quickly put my hands back in it former place as i picked the damn bread up. If i say i was embarrassed will be an understatement. If i was fair my cheeks would have turned blood.
    I rushed out of the cursed shop. My throat was dry. I knew they woul be discussing me because the last thing i heard was their thunderous laughter which rang in my ear still i slept off that night. I mean i was very embarassed, i can swear ive never been so embarassed in my life before, even the incident that happened waybackin season 1 where aminat ate all the food and i went out to mama emeka’s fast food.
    That one no even reach.
    I got home in a flash. Didnt say anything to anybody, just slept off, the laughters still ringing in my ears.

  7. Bluestarry

    I felt someone tap me.
    “flames wake up we don late for work”.
    I opened my eyes lazily, captain was putting on a purple shirt. I wondered were he was going to. Ohhh he Said we are going to work. Which work? Did i tell him i want to work?
    “which work be dat? I tell you Say i wan work?” i said as i stood up from bed.
    “if you no work were money we go take chau? You know say we dey alone now, or you go join them?”
    “ahhhh why you go talk like that na. Abeg we still the parole together o”.
    I brushed, had my bath and put on jeans trouser with a black top. Rock and Joe came knocking.
    “bros no vex for that thing were happen yesterday o”joe said smiling. It was shown he wasn’t remorsefull.
    “no vex o abeg” rock added with a frown on his face.
    I turned to see captain reaction, he appeared cool.
    “alrite”captain said and stood up from the bed, nudging me to come out.
    “una know say una vex am well well.” i said standing up.
    “i knw na, na Why i wan apologise” Joe said.
    “and you still the smile?” he shrugged, stood up and they took their leave.
    I got outside, captain was sitting on the log of wood.
    “bros you still dey vex? Koool your temper Na” i said resting my hands on his shoulder.
    “i no dey vex dey guy just the silly me” he said.
    We both walked down the street. Captain said he wants to buy something at a shop. I had forgotten the night incidence. I didn’t know captain destinations was the woman shop.
    As we got nearer, i passed one of the woman that joined in laughing walked past me. I immediately recognized her by her fat butty. We got to the shop, i was shaking my leg. We sat and offered for beer. The young girl wasn’t around. I couldnt bring my self to look her in the eyes
    “mr blue good afternoon. You have no giving me my monies” she said.
    Ahhh! I don forget wallet.
    “ma am not with it naw, ill give you later” i raised my head to see her reaction.
    she gave me a murderous look.

  8. Bluestarry

    Chapter 5

    “how much you hol am?” captain asked me.
    “na only N200 o”
    “wetin you come buy?”
    “na bread o. I no give you bread yesterday?” i said trying to recall where i kept the bread.
    “i no see any bread o”
    “or i bring bread come back o or Joe don carry am?”
    “joe no enter room na. We dey go market today o”
    “wetin you wan buy?”
    “we go pot na. Make i pay this woman ” he paid the woman and we walked out of the shop.
    We went home, i took my wallet and wore a trouser.
    “where una dey go?”joe asked.
    “we wan go chop goat” captain said.
    “ahhhh! We dey come o” they both rush in to wear their clothes. Captain and i laughed.
    “bring una wallet oo” i added.

    “ahhh? Na Uta ebbot joint be dis?”joe asked as we got to the market. I laughed.
    “no worry your throat the scratch? We wan buy somethings first” captain said as we alighted from the keke.
    We paid the man and walked into the market.
    “wetin you wan buy? ” Joe asked frowning.
    “wait you go see but you go follow add money” i said
    We reached the area where pot were displayed. We all gave captain 5k.
    Captain divided us into group. Me and rock we were to buy foodstuffs. While Joe and captain were to buy utensils.
    We bought okro, meat, maggi etc.
    Our buying was fast. We had bought all we came for.
    “we fast o captain dem no go finish their own. Oboy see nyash” rock mouthed, his mouth agape. I trailed his eyes and met a woman whose nyash wasn’t as big as Mrs Sandra’s own not to talk of chioma or the woman at the shop.I hissed “so na this one you call nyash?” i Said.
    “atleast de gehh try”
    “you get pity sha, na Joe teach you”
    we walked out of the market after purchasing all we came for. Rock said we should call captain and asked if they were done with theirs.
    ” afa we don finish o una nko”
    “na only me the buy o Joe talk say person was see am”
    “so na only you dey. You don finish?”
    “na only pot remain and we go buy two”
    “which part you dey make we come” he described the area and we went there.
    When we got there, he had bought the pot, we packed the goods to the road and boarded a taxi home.
    On getting home, rock paid the Cabman. The door to our apartment was opened, we were surprised.
    “na who open door na” rock asked.
    “you sure say you lock door flames” captain said as we approached the door.
    We were also surprised to see two shoes on the doormat. One was Joe’s own and the other was a female.
    We opened the door, walked through the corridor. I pushed opened the door of Joe and rocks room, a girl was on the bed, only on her tight and shimi, Joe was on singlet Squatting beside her, backing the door.
    The girl seeing me, sprang up and covered her bosoms with her shirts.
    Rock and captain pushed the door opened and barged in.
    “what the hell is going on here” captain said as he stepped into the room his eyes brows pulling together.
    Joe was sweating.

  9. Bluestarry

    Chapter 6

    Joe brought a girl home saying he want to see someone. It really vexed us.
    Captain left the room without trouble.
    “that guy get mind o” i said.
    “he get mind lie give me na wetin the vex me be that.”
    “oya no vex na make we go cook” rock said.
    We went inside and packed in the goods. Captain once again divided the works. I don’t know what wrong with him and division of labour.
    “flames oya go pound pepper and crayfish sharp sharp hunger dey wire me” captain said.
    “ahhhhh i no go fit o” i so much hated that process.
    “if you like. Rock go cut okro, boil meat and warm am”
    “ahhh bros that one too much na” rock complained. I laughed at the expresssion on his face, he almost cried. He hated those process as i hated mine. I usually eat from fast food, and if i cook na indomie or rice. I will always remain the seasonings.
    “you wetin you go do” rock asked.
    “ahhh go supervise na”
    “thunder fire you” rock cursed.
    “you too” captain replied.
    “so na who go cook am. Joe no go join? After e go chop”
    “rock go call Joe give me Naw naw” he said.
    Rock went out murmuring incoherent words. He came back with Joe. Joe came in with fears in his eyes. He thought he was going to face trial. He went over to captain and started pleading.
    “if you don beg finish oya do make we cook” i said.
    “your punishments be say na you go cook the soup. You sabi cook okro shebi? I no wan chop poison” captain said.
    “ahhhh bros na ” he Exclaimed.
    “all of una just lazy, una papa and mama no try atallll! He said.
    “you nko? You no fit cook? you go fit cook for bed ba?” rock asked. The question almost gave him an upper cut blow. He ran out laughing.
    We all settled down to prepare the food. The door opened and Joe’s babe came in, wrapper tied around her waist. We were all surprised.c. Even Joe was.
    “hi guys…..am vicky” she said.
    We all replied and introduced ourselves. It was then i took note of her beauty, curves and wonderful edges. She was an epitome of beauty. Though not well blessed frantically, she gathered well for behind. Joe was lucky, very lucky i mean.
    She went over and pecked Joe and proceeded to help him light the stove, an act he spent minutes doing. I can swear Joe have never cooked in his life before.
    “what are guys cooking?” she asked.
    “we dey cook elephant” i replied. Ahhh ahhh which kind question? She don see okro, meat, and garri, she still the ask.
    “watch your tongue o” Joe warned.
    She helped a lot in the preparation of the meal. Intact she was the one that cooked. I even thanked Joe for bringing her.
    When the food was done, she shared the food. I ate with rock, Joe ate with her and captain ate alone. I didn’t forget to pray before eating, she put witch na. I didn trust anything girl again, they can kill you know. I almost spoke in tongues. Rock did me something ill never forget in a Hurry. All the meat i fantasied eating after the meal where gone in a flash. Just like that.
    “ahhh rock eat slowly na.. You dey do competition?” i asked.

  10. Bluestarry

    Chapter 7
    He gave me that dey-dia-dey-mumz look. I digged-in in a rush. I started meeting his space but he was always faster.
    “next Time i no dey chop with you again” i said.
    “you don’t know who you are dealing with” captain said. I gave him a glance, he was munching his enormous cow meat. I salivated at the sight.
    That was when i digged my fingers in the hot okro soup, hoping to come in contact with meat. For where? Even bone i no touch.
    “why you dey put finger for soup?” rock asked.
    “where are the meats i saw in this plate of soup” i spoke English after a long time.
    Vicky gave me a pitiful look.
    I roamed again, seeing and not coming in contact with any dead flesh, i raised alarm.
    “chissssssssssooooossss ooo” i said almost in whisper.
    “wetin na” Joe asked.
    “don’t you know you are disturbing my babe here with your noise?” he added . Vicky smacked his shoulders playfully
    “rock don chop meat finish o”
    “shuoooooooo! No be me wash am?” rock said licking his hands. I sheepishly stopped eating and glared angrily at him.

  11. Bluestarry

    Chapter 8

    After minutes of stares, i looked down to continue eating having in mind to revenge when table comes my side. Lo! I Met an empty plate of soup. A dry bone was placed in the middle.
    I cried. He gently stood up, washed his hands and left me to suffer my fate.
    I stared at the empty plate of soup and water gathered in my eyes. Was i going to sleep hungry? No! god forbid.
    “thunder go fire rock for this world” i cursed.
    “your father too” i heard from outside. Joe, captain and vicky laughed.
    I didn’t eat any thing sef. I blamed captain for bonding me with rock, i blamed Joe for not intervening, i blamed vicky for coming, if she didn’t came and we prepared the food alone, believe me nobody for chop the food, poo for sweet pass am. Salts for too much or pepper for much. She cooked the food to be delicious and that prompted rock to steal meat. He dosent know stealing is a sin? Hell fire is real my brethrens.
    After the meal, i went out to get some fresh air. I sat on the log of wood reminscing of my ordeal with rock. My thoughts went far and wide. I remembered i didn’t call the sexy waitress. I brought out my phone and dial her number. She didn’t pick at first but at the second ring. I braved up and put on my sexiest voice.
    “hello…. beauty” i said praying she should remember me cos girls too dey form.
    “please who is this?”
    “am the guy you gave your number at Kelly’s eatery daybefore yesterday”
    “ohhhh…. I thought you will never call” thank god she remembered me and was expecting my call.
    “i’ve been very busy lately and my battery was flat”
    “ifa hia! Don’t use that line o guys use too much”
    “am serious o I’ve been thinking about your beautiful face”
    “so how have you been?” she avoided those lines… I smiled.
    “am fine….please are you on whatsapp?…”
    “ya…any problem”
    “no…. Is this the number? Let me add you… I don’t have much airtime”
    “ok” she hang up.
    I login and added her, her pix was on white. I wasn’t her, maybe her sister. It so much Resembled her.
    The first message she sent to me was
    “honey send me airtime” ahhh ahhh! Shuoooooooo!.
    My eye bulged. Na so e go be? I swallowed and typed.
    “okay dear….how much do you want?”
    “5k will do” i screamed

  12. Bluestarry

    Chapter 9
    I went inside the house minutes later after the chat. All the Niggers were assembled in our room. I went and sat down.
    “flames where are you coming from” captain asked.
    “from your papa house ”
    vicky came in and sat beside Joe. Was she not going?
    “as i was saying, we go all start work tomorrow….”
    “work for wetin ? I tell you say i wan work?” i said.
    “ask am o if na money una want, i get ” Joe said, vicky rubbed his back and whispered something to him.
    I was really angry at rock. My eye darted down his stomach, his stomach bulged. He ate really well.
    “rock i no like wetin you do atall ”
    “ahhh ahhh i think say e don pass. This place resemble your father house” captain asked.
    I glared at him, his stomach bulged out too, same with Joe. Vicky own was hidden.
    “blue come let me go put for you” vicky said. A smile lit up my face.
    “food? Dat one na tomorrow we dey chop am” captain said.
    Vicky stood up and went out. Emerging later with two plate of food. I thanked her a millions time, i even kiss her toes.
    “thank you no mind them… I go marry you” i said as i collected her the plates.
    “you wan wetin? ” Joe asked glaring at me.
    “you think say you go marry this angel? You no deserve am” i said.
    “you think say she be chinyere or aminat?”
    vicky was blushing.
    “e dey okay ooo” vicky said.
    I digged into my food. Captain and rock were staring hungrily at me.
    “people go die today o” i said and swallowed a ball of garri.
    “blue abeg remain give na” rock begged.
    “so let me know more about you guys….blue you first” vicky said.
    “ahhh ahhh Make Joe start first” i said.
    “common …”rock said.
    “us we already did.. Your turn….” captain said.
    “okay….my name is Victoria, am, students of uncal… Studying business admi……..”
    “honey e dey okay no tell dem again” Joe said.
    I had a call it was chinyere.
    My food was almost finished, i stood up and went out to answer the call.
    “hello honey……”
    “baby how are you..” i replied.
    “am not happy with you”
    “what the problem honey?”
    “when last did you call?” she asked feigning annoyance.
    “baby is not like that na see…”
    “is like what?”
    “am broke honey… Am no longer stayin……”
    “what has broke got to do with calling?”
    “sorry is not…”
    “or you have another girl there?”
    “ahhh! How can do that na… You know you are my one and only” she paused.
    “keep deceiving yourself.. You know the truth…”
    “am not deceiving you.. No girl hav……”
    “young man save the sweet talk for babe… Where are you?”
    “doing what?”
    “i told you am broke, couldn’t afford the apartment so i went down here to stay my friends”
    “what about your parent? Can’t …”
    “honey i don’t wanna talk about this now.. Ill call you later…”
    “okay.. Bye…enjoy yourself” she hang up.
    She don vex? Like who cares? I pocketed my phone and strolled back into the house only to meet an empty plate of soup.
    I almost went mad but calmed myself. The guys were rubbing their stomach, captain belched.
    I stood staring at the plate for a while.. Rock was laughing. Tears gathered in my eyes as i remembered the meat.
    I was not going to Disgrace myself cos of a common meat. I lay on the bed and slept.
    i was having a wonderful dream. I was staffing chioma’s wonderful butty when i felt a cold soft hands touch me.
    “ahhh ahhh baby steady well let me insert it well” i mouthed out physically. I heard series of laughter at the background.
    Slowly i opened my eyes as the sweet cover of sleep evaporated away.
    “daaaa!wetin na ” i yelled.
    “wake up.. Where you keep toothpaste?” captain asked.
    Vicky was staring at me with a funny look on her face. She handed me her toothbrush. I angrily stood up and collected. Opened my box and applied the paste on it, i returned it. She collected and went out.
    I had 5missed call all from chinyere, i didn’t call her at night as i promised. As i was about dialing her number, screams came from the back yard.
    I rushed out, only to meet a laughing rock and captain. An angry Joe and a fuming vicky. She bounced over to me like a mother hen and
    kpoooooooooaaaa! A wonderful slap came on my cheeks. I saw stars.
    “wetin i do na” i cried.
    “if you didn’t want to give me toothpaste why didn’t you say?” she asked. She pushed me outta her way and bounced back into the house.
    I turned to my laughing niggers with a question look. Joe walked over and tugged unto my shirt.
    “you wan kill my babe abi? Why you put skineal for her brush

  13. Bluestarry

    Chapter 10
    Breakfast came and i was paired with captain. Rock ate alone and Joe with vicky.
    “ahhh captain na” i cried.
    He ignored me and increased his pace. He was was eating with great speed , Dexterity and gusto.
    I couldn’t take it any longer, i raised the plate of soup.
    “drop food make i chop jare” he said.
    “make person chop na” vicky said. I shot her a glare and she shot back.
    Captain dragged the plate down and the soup spilt over. I expected to see meat rolling out but saw none, that was when it dawned on me that i was in for it.
    “why you pour soup flames?” captain asked glaring at me. I grinned.
    “you too like food, na so your papa chop when im small? ” i asked.
    “na so wetin?” he asked his Hands going into the garri.
    I sheepishly said it again.
    “chisoooosss” i yelled as a big ball of garri struck my eyes, making it go temporarily blind. The heat, size and the speed it came on me was terrible. My eyes lids felt as if it had been roasted, roasted by a hot ball of garri.
    I expected the niggers to come to my aid. For where? “e don roast my eye o” i screamed again to draw their attention.
    No response. I opened one eye, captain was squatting with rock, with a ball of garri in his hands. He was begging rock to follow him eat, rock was shrugging his his almighty head. I feared it will roll off.
    “make una come my eyes o” i screamed yet again as the peppery liquid entered my eyes.
    “young man keep shut, don’t blind my ears with your screams” ahhh rock murdered it. Shuo! Dem dey blind ear? Series of laughter rocked the walls of the room.
    Even Rock joined in laughing at his stupidity not knowing he was the centre of amusement. Na im laugh pass sef.
    “no be only blind e go blind you” captain said rolling on the ground.
    Slowly, i stood up, rinsed my hands, and headed out of the room.
    “flames come clean this soup where you pour” captain said.
    “ame damma?* are you crazy?*” i asked.
    “uso *your father*”
    Around 9pm, vicky left saying she want to attend lectures.
    “oya blue come carry my bag give me make we reach junction” she ordered. Oboy see insults. Me? Carry bag? Like say na me dey fvck am?
    “you know hear wetin dem talk?”captain Said. I would have love to carry it o atleast to have a chat with her on her way. I remembered that slap and the laughter, ahhh i dey mad?
    I looked at them to be sure they still had their heads on.
    I went inside, took my phone and wallet and walked out of the house. They niggers were surprise at my actions.
    I had no destination but my legs took me to iyawo place, it the shop owned by the ikebe woman.
    I sat on one of her chairs. The young girl wasn’t around, maybe she went to school cause it was a Tuesday morning.
    I ordered for lacasera and bread. People were trooping into the shop, soon it was full with guys.
    They all had henesy on their table. Some came with their babes. I was the only odd one in the shop with lacasera and a dry bread.
    Stares were coming my direction, i adjusted uncomfortably

  14. Bluestarry

    Chapter 11
    A guy pulled up his chair to my table.
    “afa” he said.
    “50km” he smiled.
    “my name na kush” he sure resembled, his lips were dark black
    “i be flames sorry blue” everybody were listening.
    “which one na ok ill call you lacasera” he said. Laughter erupted in the shop, even iyawo was laughing. I was embarrassed.
    “you are new here ?”
    “i bin wan give you something ” he Said bringing out weed. Ahhh! I hate weed pass girl. Na weed give me the name “man on fire”
    All eyes were on me. I decided taking it, showing them i was a bad guy, baddest .
    I collected and took a “sip” it was sweet. I took the 2nd, it was sweeter, i took the 3rd it was the sweetest 4th…. 9th .
    I heard people voice and laughter distant. I felt my eyes grew big and in a flash, i saw myself on the main road, cars were passing by with great speed. I stood up and decided controlling the traffic.
    I had no baton, i looked down, they was a bottle of lacasera on the floor, i picked it up and used it as baton. Just then a car with a big bakassi drove pass.
    “hey you…yes you…stop…show me your particulars….oya pullover”
    i heard distant laughter. Wetin dem put for weed give me? I don mad?

  15. Bluestarry

    Chapter 12
    The car stopped few metres away. I was angry, why didn’t it stop where i was? Now i had to walk over to it.
    I walked to the car, it was staring at me, it trafficator were blinking intervally.
    I tapped the big bakassi as i reached were it stopped.
    Kpoooooooooaaaaaa! A slap came on my face. I no even feel the pains sef, but i feel say something slap me.
    I Turned, my fellow policeman was staring at me.
    “you know who i be? You slapped a policeman?” i screamed. I threw away my baton and charged at the car.
    A great push came from my side and i fell on the floor with a great thud. My fellow man had pushed me.
    I was very angry. Why would a policeman push his fellow man? I was going to report to the d.p.o. I sprang up and headed out of the area.
    I was flying on my way to the dpo’s office. Seemed my Legs weren’t touching ground.
    My wings hurt, i needed a place to land. Turning left i saw a well laid bed. I was surprise, why would a bed be laid by the road side? It was well laid. Look as if it was laid specially for me. I mouthed silent prayer for the soul who laid it.
    It was the largest bed I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t only one, i couldnt count, they were much. They were milky in colour.
    I flew and landed on the bed. It was very strong and rough. I laid down. Most of the cars had stopped and were looking my direction. Policemen were all over the place, staring and pointing at me.
    “una think say i no go tell DPO say you push me? Make i rest first” i shouted. I heard distant laughter. Some of the cars had big and round bonnet, some had flat, some had big boot, some had flat.
    They policemen had a weird snake and big mangos fruit hanging between their legs. Somewhere long and fat, some were otherwise
    I wanted to alarm them but decided against it.
    Make the snake bite make them suffer. I thought allowed. I smiled at my discovery, closed my eyes and rested.
    I woke up with a banging headache. My worms were on riot as pang of hunger striked me. I winced in pains as my eyes adjusted to the bright environment.
    With banging headache i lifted my head and looked around. I was shocked to see myself in a strange environment.
    I laid on blocks or bricks which were arranged in square like pattern. They were all over the environment. I was scared. Why was i here? Who brought me here?how did i get here? The questions flashed through my mind as i took note of my environment.
    It was morning. I was in a building site. Men were all about the place, carrying bricks up the uncompleted building. I was scared to the bone. I tried recalling how i got here but the only scenes i remembered was i drinking lacasera in iyawo’s place.
    With haste, i stood. My wallet was in my left pocket. And my phone in right. My watch was gone.
    I opened, all my money were gone. N50 was left and a torn N20. I was confused.
    I walked to one of the men that were working, he ignored me as if i was a ghost.
    “oga abeg were i dey” i asked with a shaking voice. He looked at me in pity. He laughed

  16. Bluestarry

    “you dey school road” he said. Ehhhhhh! School road? How go take reach house with N50 and a torn N20? I still had a very long way to go. I was gonna spend atleast 1k before i reach home. But where will i get the money?
    In my confused state, i walked out of the site, my head hanging down. Weed don do me o!

  17. Bluestarry

    Chapter 13

    I walked down the road . I decided calling my hommies, they would be worried. I brought my phone out, lo! it wasn’t my bb, it was Nokia express music, the screen was removed and the phone was bounded together with a paper soletape
    . I stared at the phone in my hands as tears gathered in my eyes. I checked for my sim and it was intact. That gave me a little strength to move on.
    My thoughts were all centered on how i was going to reach home safely.
    The streets of calabar were busy as usuall,People were going about their business. No one even spared me a glance. How was i going to raise N950? Only one thing will help, that’s begging for alms.
    I approached a man on suit, he looked rich in his outer appearance.
    “good afternoon sir, just a minutes sir” i said. He gave me a glance. His bloodshot eyes were screening me thoroughly.
    “wetin you want? I looking like kovernor?” he asked, spittles splashed out of his mouth unto my face. I nearly threw up.
    I wasn’t better than him sha. I looked like an old mad man.
    I simply walked away while he shook his mighty head. Maybe in pity or something he only knew.
    I was dejected. It was almost afternoon and i was still roaming the streets. I found my self in the bustop without knowing.
    Buses were loaded with people. Some where going my direction. If wishes were horses, i would wish to be in one of the buses.
    Lo! A wallet was on the ground, i immediately stepped on it with my legs. When i was sure eyes weren’t staring i bent down and pick it. I prayed silently as i rushed out of the bustop . I went behind a building, brought out the wallet and opened it. Wads of naira note were arranged in it. I was so excited that i didn’t notice the group of boys heading my direction.
    “afa bros” a guy said as he snatched away “MY” wallet. I raised my head in anger and my eyes met 6young boys of about 16 or 15years.
    See small boys oo.. I mouthed out.

  18. Bluestarry

    “which kind nonsense be dis? See small boy o? I resemble your mate? common return my wallet” i charged at the young boy.
    “guy cool down. I see when you carry dis wallet for park na when e become your own?” he asked smiling. The smile and the cool way the kid behaved really infuriated me.
    The other boys approached us. Their shirts raised up, showcasing their daggers and knives. I shivered at the sight.
    The wallet was tossed to the leader who was taller than the rest dudes. Ha! Na insults be this o!
    I dashed at the leader, my wrist left a deafening sound blow on his jaw. The rest guys were surprised at my sudden action. A guy charged at me, with a kick, i sent him crashing on his knees. Who are they to try my takwendoe’s skills?
    The remaining guys were taken aback, they took to their heels leaving the two dudes to their fate.
    Not long, the other guy ran too, leaving behind their leader.
    I struggled with the tall Dude for my wallet, he was getting powerful every seconds. Soon, i saw myself on the earthen floor. I landed with a thud on my buttocks. He took to his heels immediately he threw me over. I wondered what pursued him.
    I dashed forward to pick the wallet which were inches away from me. A leg stepped on the wallet. I was surprised and angry. I trailed the legs up, my eyes met the biggest biceps I’ve ever seen in my life, he was more than a macho man. Like three macho men put together. No wonder the kid ran away.
    He face were patched up together, he was more than a monster.
    I shivered as he bent down and picked the wallet and pocketed it. Tears gathered in my eyes. He grinned and walked away.

  19. Bluestarry

    I went on my knees and begged him.
    “bros no vex abeg na atleast 500 huns go dey okay abeg..” he turned and laughed. He walked over to me, bent down and examine my face.
    “where you from come? Na my area be dis” he said in his rugged tone.
    I sat up and detailed my pathetic story to him. He only laughed as i went on with the story.
    Did you expect me to tell him the truth? I told him i was robbed on my way to uyo, that i came with my babe but the robbers took her away.
    He was touched. He gave me the wallet back, something i never expected him to do. Atleast i expected him to give me the N500 i asked for.
    “ahhh ahhh oga, na only N950 i need o” i said as i stared at the wallet with greed. He persisted. I took the wallet from him, took out a thousand note and gave him the rest.
    I stood up thank him and walked away. He called me back.
    “wetin be your name?” he asked as he approached me. Why will he request for my name?
    “blue” i said. He nodded and walked past me.
    I heaved a sigh of relief and strolled back to the park. I boarded a bus heading to marina. It was almost evening.
    I sat in between two fat men, at my back was a macho man. The second sit was the most beautiful, adorable, cutest, infact, i lack words to describe her. She was so beautiful, i wondered if she was miss world. I prayed she should have a nice body as her face was.
    Who was chinyere or aminat to compete with her beauty? Her head was buried in her phone. She smiled intervally as she constantly pressed the screens on her phone.
    All my thoughts and attention were centered on the goddess in front of me that i forget were i was or where i was going to or what was going on around me.
    I decided trying my chances when we get off the bus. With dirty clothes? Ahhh make i save the shame for another day.
    We soon got to our destinations.
    “if you never pay your money, pay now” the conductor said.
    I inserted my Hands into my pockets to fish out my money. For where? I was alarmed. I looked at the fat men by my side, they were smiling.
    “ahhh where my 1k na?” i asked a rhetoricall question. The passengers were now throwing me gazes. I fumbled with my pockets, it almost got torn. The fat men were still smiling, i suspected them without doubts. Why will they be smiling?
    The goddess eyes locked with mine and i quickly looked away in shame.
    The car came to a halt, the passengers got out. I wasn’t opportuned to have a view of the goddess as she stepped out. As i was about stepping a foot outside the bus, the conductor came and held my wrist.
    “pay money na” he said. My heart beat was getting my faster.
    “abeg i no see my money… E be like say those two fat guys don take am” i said. Immediately, a deafening slap came on my head, from my back which made the spot almost bald.
    “who take your money?” the fastest among the two men asked as the other advanced. I was in a deep hot soup. Na so i go fall hands for this babe front?

  20. Bluestarry

    “No be una o e get one fat woman wey i see for that park na im take my money” i said as another deafening slap came on my head rendering the spot bald.
    The conductor kept tossing me around and the fat men kept using my head as their slapping bag if there is anything like that.
    They later left me and went their way. I was left with the conductor. I noticed his eyes weren’t on me again and i trailed it to a big woman ukwu.
    “bros that nyash too big o!” he exclaimed smiling at me. I was surprise o! He had forgotten about me and the money.
    “e big o” i exclaimed as i viewed the flesh from an angle. It was big no doubt, much like iyawo’s own.
    He left off my hand and advanced towards the woman. I threw a glance at the driver who was eating a dry loaf of bread. I seized the opportunity and manovered myself through the crowed at great speed. Delay is dangerous.
    Outside the motor park, i strolled home. I wondered how i went that far, and couldn’t still rememberhow i got to the site. Are my village witches at work?
    It was already evening when i got to my street. The stares i was getting was can make a fellow run for his dear life. Some guys were pointing and laughing at me while some waved. I wonder why the sudden behaviour. How come they knew me when i don’t know them?
    I walked past the barbers shop, guys weren’t much in there. Luckily i wasn’t sighted. My head hanging low, i proceded to walk pass iyawo shop, then i realised i was thirsty. I wanted to branche the shop to buy sachet of water but decided against it, since my home was a stone thrown from there. Hence i proceeded home.
    On getting home, vicky and two other sexy busty girls were sitted outside, discussing. Who are they? What do they want?
    “jeesssss! Blue you? What happened? How…” i didn’t wait for vicky to finish her statement as i dashed inside. I hated when i get sympathy infront of girls. Not just ordinary girls, but sexy girls. Lols.
    I opened the door and walked through the corridors. Lo! At the end corner were my properties. My box, clothes, shoes etc, where all stacked and packed at the corner.
    I was surprise o! I ignored them and went ahead to open the door to our room*captain and i*. The three mugus were all seated on the bed with bottles of vodka.
    I barged in and they were all startled.
    “jeesssss! Blue na you?” rock said. I ignored and undressed. Captain and Joe were surprise or let me say shock to see me. They probably thought i was dead.
    “flames where you been there?” captain asked rising up. I also ignored. That wasn’t the time for question and answers. I went out to take my bath.
    Five minutes later, i was through. I went in.
    “captain were you keep my box?” i asked angrily. I was angry but didn’t know what got me angry.
    “ehhhhhh …flames. Ermm… You go…. Manage ….corridor for now….abeg till… My babe go….abeg” he stammered. I was glaring at him. I couldn’t believe my ears. Me? Sleep corridor? Ha!
    I smiled at him and went out of the room. Time never reach for that.
    I wore my baggiess and a black singlet and went to the kitchen to check if there was food.
    Three pot were filled to the brim with food. The first had rice, second had yam and beans and the last had soup. We bought two pot, the guys had brought an extra.
    I settled with rice. I didn’t bother my self scooping the rice to a plate. I ate directly from the pot. The food was delicious o.
    7mins later, the door barged open.
    “how dare you eat my food” a lady yelled. I raised my head, it was one of the ladies i saw with vicky

  21. Bluestarry

    She bounced over to me like a mother hen, and lifted the pot off the ground.
    I was surprise o! Was she mad? How and why should she disturb me? When eating for that matter? Ahhh! Water don pass garri.
    “what the meaning of that young lady?” i asked rising up.
    “why would you be eating from my pot of food without permission?” she queried. Shuoo! I almost laugh sha, i just hold am.
    “baby what going on here?” captain asked as three of them barged in to the room.
    “he ate my food, the rice i suffered to prepare for… for…” she breaks into sobs. I was surprise of her sudden swing in emotions. What triggered her tears? Me? Ha!
    “you why you chop the food na? Plate no dey?” rock asked. Captain took the gehh into his arms and she sobbed. Intact! I was confused. She cried cos i ate her food? And this was the same girl i was to leave my bed for.
    My stomach grumbled. I was still very hungry. Did i even eat sef? I looked around the room and sat on a stool.
    Vicky and the other busy girl came inside. And when filled with the news of how i ate her food without ‘permission’ by Joe, they glared at me.
    I didn’t let those stuff get to me, all i needed presently was a plate of food. My eyes roamed the room again, for the first time, i saw a vita foam laid. The kitchen utensils were pushed to the wall leaving a big space where a mattress was laid. I wasn’t surprise.
    “abeg na who get this yam?” i asked as i squatted besides the pot. With a rush, vicky came swapping the pot away. I glared at her as laughter shook the walls of the room.
    “ngo, don’t mind him lets go take some air” captain said as he led the girl out. I was surprised at the sudden change in captain. I preffered him over Joe.
    Vicky however picked up a plate she put just a slice of yam and handed it over to me. Joe and rock laughed, their gazes were fixed on me, if ill collect the food.
    I stared at the yam hungrily. “you no want am? Ok” she added two more slices. Should i collect? My pride and ego wouldnt let me.
    I was weighing the options. Accept the food and sell my ego, or refuse… Ahhh! Ego no dey for place wey hunger dey o! Atall atall na im bad pass.
    I stretched my hands to collect the food but she she swapped it away.
    “i tell you make you help carry my bag reach junction you refuse naw you wan come..chop food wey your mother cook.. Olodo!” she said. I felt like giving her the beating of her life.
    I was embarrassed. If to say na only rock and Joe de dey room i for no worry, but the new sexy gehh was in there when i was humiliated by my friends.
    “oya comot for here blue…go sleep night don reach” rock said as he guided his babe to the bed.
    The remaining duo, Joe and vicky left. I stood in the middle of the room, my thoughts were numerous. I quietly left the room, giving rock a look.
    I pushed the door, it was locked from inside, i knocked on the door.
    “flames abeg na, use corridor” captain said from within. Was he mad? Yes! Definitely.
    I angrily continued pounding the door but got no response. Angrily i went out into the dark night.
    My friends were against me, because i was against them bringing girls to the house. An argument we had on the night before my flight to school road via igbo

  22. Bluestarry

    I Sat on the log infront of the house reminscing about the happenings of the evening.
    I was angry and felt betrayed. My friends? Joe? Captain? Rock? The girls? Mmmm! Because of girls? Ahh! I was troubled. Should i pack out? No! Why should i? I also participated in renting and the upkeep off the house.
    After hours of sitting outside, sleep came. I stood up and went into the house. Moans and screams were coming from the three rooms which made me really angrily. I sat on the floor besides my bag, my back and head rested against the wall. I closed my eyes and tried drifting into dreamland. Sleep refused coming. I tried playing deaf to the screams and moans but they harder i tried, the louder it , sounded in my ears. After a while the moans were in low tone.
    My thoughts travelled to Mrs Sandra and her hubby. Are they still searching for me?. My thoughts ran through many things. My eyelids became heavy, i didn’t know when sleep took over me
    “hey you stop there” shouts and bullets came after us as we ran through the forest panting heavily. We were pursued. Me, captain and rock. We ran for our dear lives as the guys pursued us.
    “ahhh!” rock screamed as a bullet buried itself in his flesh. He felled and rolled on the ground. I didn’t dare stop to help or carry him.
    Captain ran faster and i followed as bullets ran after us. Captain took a left narrow path which divided into two and i took the right. I ran ahead the narrow path, my heart in my mouth. Steps were coming after me.
    I came across a log of wood
    which layed across the path. Brushing past the leaves with speed i jumped across the log of wood.
    Immediately my legs landed on the other side, a bullet borrowed itself into my bare back.
    “chissoss!” i screamed as i woke up breathing hard. I was perspirating. My heart beat was faster than normal.
    My eyes became accustomed to the light coming from the opened door. It was morning.
    My mind drifted back to the nightmare. Rock killed? Me? We being pursued? Why want Joe among? Who were there? I kept asking myself rhetorical question.
    Am not the type that believe in dream or the type that dreams much. I hardly dream. Once in a blue moon you may say. But the dream i just had looked real, so real. It came like a vision.
    I was trembling. For the first in almost a year, i prayed. My prayer was that it shouldn’t come real. It did, maybe i didn’t pray well.
    After the prayer, pushing my troubles and though aside, i stood up and went outside. I expected seeing someone outside since the door was ajar which meant some one was outside.
    I saw no one outside. Walking back to the room, i knocked and tried unlocking the door from the door knob of the three rooms. It proved abortive.
    All the doors were locked from inside. Then who opened the door.
    Ohhh! i didn’t lock the door last night as i went in. Jeez! Why will i forget that?
    Why won’t i forget when my mind was troubled.
    I took my toothbrush an went out through the backyard to was my mouth.
    “good morning boyfriend” someone greeted. I turned, she was captains babe. She was on bumshot and a spaghetti top.
    Her exposed cleavage look fresh and fleshy. The anger in me had disappeared long ago. Her moans and screams came playing back in my ears, a tent was growing in my boxers.
    “flames how you dey” captain asked snapping me out from my reverie.
    My hard on would be seen. I composed myself and walked away from them. I continue brushing my mouth.
    “don’t be angry about last night, am sorry” a female voice said from my back.

  23. Bluestarry


    “sorry” she said, her hands rubbing my back.
    “no problem…” i said and went into the house, leaving her standing there. Took my bath, wore my clothes.
    Captain came into the corridor as i rounded up.
    “flames no vex for yesterday abeg” he said resting his back on the walls.
    I ignored him. My wallet was pocketed, and i proceded to march out of the house when he held my hands and pulled me.
    “wetin na…” i barked and my anger was fueld.
    “bros no vex… No be like that na…see i wan make we talk…” he pleaded.
    The rest members of the house came out together. One after the other, they came out of the room. I was surprised and angrily. Seems They planned it.
    “blue no vex ” Joe said. I glared at them as my eyes went from one to another.
    “boyfriend we dey sorry na…you go chop my food no worry” rock girl said and all laughed.
    They all apologised. Am a kind of person that don’t hold grudges against people not to talk of my peepz. Although i was still angry, i had to forgive them.
    I gave into their pleas and we went back to a whole again.
    We went out to the backyard and the girls went to do the chores.
    “flames where you been wan go? ” captain asked as we settled down on the slab.
    “i wan go your mama villa”
    “e don come back ba?” rock said.
    “no mind am… Ehheee blue wia you bin dey?….why you no come back house na? We bin dey worried o” Joe said as if in concerned.
    “you wetin? Worried? Ifa hear….” i said scoffing.
    “seriously na…” Joe said.
    “ifa Teh you wetin do me…infact make i no talk”
    “talk na abi you go n*ash ?” said Joe.
    I deliberated on weather to tell them my escapades or not. They would definitely laugh off their lungs. But it ill help make me free with them more…
    We were still discussing, captain and Joe pestering me to give them the tale about my absent when vicky came in to announce breakfast.
    “when them dey go? hope say dos babes no dey live for here?” i asked. They looked at each other and back to me.
    “ahhh… Them go live with us but but… We go manage..” rock stammered.
    “captain no say i no dey sleep for corridor…” i said with an angry face.
    He stared at me with pleading eyes.
    ” rock go ‘Diana’ with Joe. You go sleep kitchen or any how una wan do, do..” i said rising up. They stared at me in disbelieve.
    “ahhh me and Joe? Wey don dey eye my babe since? Ahhh!” rock lamented.
    “taarr! Thunder fire your blockus for there..your babe wey ugly like…like..fowl nyash..see that gehh na prosti.. and..” he was about to complete the sentence when Becky marched out of the house.we didn’t know They were listening from the window and his voice was slightly raised.
    “your babe wey.. Sexy… Sexy like oat sash” he stammered as his eyes met hers.
    Rocks girl, becky was prettier than vicky. Though possessed with small biceps, she was stillHe was trying to cover up the “ugly… And … Goat nyash” with “sexy…and oat Sash” a name i haven’t heard before, and i was sure no other soul has heard of it.

  24. Bluestarry


    “why you talk that rubbish Joe? Why you call my babe ” rock asked rising.
    In a flash, Becky was standing besides Joe, her hands tugged unto his singlet.
    “who ugly and na who be goat?” she asked. “who be prostitute?” she added.
    “ahhh no be wetin i talk o. I say you fine… Sorry sexy like oat sash and you be politician…” he said, his voice gave into whimpers as beckys grip on him tighten. I laughed out loud, and so did captain and the girls that came out to have a view of the comical drama displayed. We didn’t make any effort to stop Becky. Laughter wouldn’t let that.
    “who be oat sash and who be politician?” rock asked.
    “ahhh! Una no dey ‘see’ news? Na that woman wey stop killing for for Nigeria…she fine wehh wehh… Na my role model” ahhh! Dey guy try.
    Bouts of laughter erupted followed by a scream from him.
    “who be prostitute?” asked Becky as she held unto his neck like ‘big show’. She’d watch wwe i guessed.
    ” i no talk pro*titute…politician…politician o..first lady you be..” his eyes were almost bulging out. He tried to lessen her grip on his neck but couldn’t. She was powerful but we didn’t know. We all thoughts they were playing but didn’t know it was a serious drama. And the reply he gave were funny, how will we take that serious.
    We still didn’t make any attempt of separating them since to us they were playing. Sure! They were entertaining us…for free…
    “abeg….make…ura help me.. Ahhh don die…” he growled.
    “ahhh swear i no talk prost..pros… Na politician o…” he continued and we were having a field day with laughter. Vicky was rolling on the ground, ngozi was bouncing, captin was hitting his ribs and rock wasn’t smiling.
    “na who be politician?” rock asked.
    “na me ohh” .
    “who be prostitute? Na you dey bl**p me?” she asked with an upperkick to his chest, they kick was wonderfully delivered as it came with a thud sound. I swear i heard it!
    Then we knew it was serious. He stretched out his hands in a bid to call for help. I stood up to separate them. But it was too late. He began foaming, his eyes wide opened then it happened…………
    Becky’s muscle wasn’t for fancy o!

  25. Bluestarry

    Joe felled on the ground. We all rushed to him.
    “bring water oo” Becky screamed. No be she kill am?
    I bent down and shook him hard, he didn’t move. Becky and ngozi were almost crying. Vicky was panting around with fear in her eyes Rock rushed in to bring water.
    A large bucket of water was brought and emptied on Joe who sprang up like an iron spring, breathing heavily.
    “you for kill person pikin o” rock said. Becky did the sign of cross and moved towards Joe who’s back rested on the wall, his hands on his neck, eyes closed.
    As Becky got to him, he opened his eyes and…the kind race where this guy race ehh! He ran into the house with speed which left everyone laughing. Maybe thinking she was coming for him again.
    The days passed by with no significant happening. The weeks were very boring as we stayed at home discussing trivial matters. The girls were students, they only stayed at home with us when they have no lectures. I had called chinyere the next day and settled our differences, promising to keep in touch with her since she told me she will be travelling. To where? She didn’t say and i didn’t ask. Promising to visit me once she comes back from her trip.
    Joe practically stayed away from Becky when ever she was around. I had the whole room rollins My self. I was three weeks old in calabar.
    The beginning of the fourth week started good. Monday morning, lekpakelly called around 7am. How could i have forgotten her that long, i forgot i had a sexy waitress. Since after she said i should send her airtime i totally forgot about her. I was surprise she called. I picked.
    “hello honey…” i said.
    “ohh sorry i dial the wrong number” she said and hang up. Why she even call sef. Abi she no check name before e dial? Nevertheless i called her back after 5mins. She would have finish speaking with whosoever she claimed she wanted to call. I dialed the first and second time, she didn’t pick. I left the phone on my bed to wash my mouth.
    “flames e get wetin i want make you do for me”
    captain said as i brushed at the backyard.
    “wetin” i mumbled.
    “e get one fine babe wey i see”
    “chaiiii! Captain na gehh go kill you… Ngozi no satisfy you abi she no sweet again?” said i.
    “no be like that na..you know say…” rock walked over to us and he stooped.
    “bastards una no die for nights? ” rock mouthed as he sat on the slap. That was his usuall way of saying goodmorning. I wonder who thought him.
    “your father..” captain replied, his usuall way too.
    “wetin una bin dey talk na?”
    “na every rain the touch you? Madman..flames make we continue jare”
    “shuo! So until every rain drop me na when i go..”
    “honey…” Becky called. He eyed us and left.
    “ehh as i bin dey yarn…the gehh set wehh weh… E be like say phyno and p-square sing the song give am sef”
    “so….she fine? And wetin you want make i do ? Na only me dey?”
    “you know say na you finepass and you match weh weh with the package”

  26. Bluestarry

    “wetin be my udod*gain*” i said and rinsed my mouth.
    “ahh! Why you dey Talk like this na…see i gbadun dat babe o no fall hands na” he pleaded. His demeanour was so serious. Seems he wasn’t kidding.
    “na love or na ble*p u wan do?” i asked as i sat down on the earthen soil.
    “ahh! Why you dey ask too much question na..ur pman na im give you sha”
    “so wetin go happen to ngozi naw?”
    “chai! Dat one na ma main apple na…apple of my life… I even swear say i no go break im heart na” he said his finger on his tongue in the swearing process. I coughed.
    “so….you go do am? Abeg no fall hands o”
    “why you no do am and aw you sure say she no get guy…see i cherish my life o” i said raising my voice.
    “shhhh! You wan make make….you no say i dey outdated and i no too fine na… So your fine boy go draw am come…dey tin be Say you no fit use your fineboyship weh weh” he said shaking his enormous head. I laughed.
    “i go show you dey babe house today…infact make we go now” he suggested.
    I stared at him. Was he insane? Dis kind early mor mor e wan make i go chyke babe.
    “ahhh! I go baff na” i said and struggled my hands free from his grasp.
    “okay…knw say you go follow b***p am… I no go mind to share a…….”
    someone coughed behind us. We were so engrossed in the discussion that we didn’t see her walk to us. Did she hear the whole conversation or half or the ending part? She stood, her hands crossed over her chest, her eyes brows pulled up together. Glaring at him in a repugnance demeanour.
    Wetin concern me?. I stood up and left him to his fate. The stares the lady was giving me was killing i had to leave. I gave a last glance at captain, he was almost crying. I walked away. I hid at the wall and listened to what they will say.
    “who do you mind not sharing with him to bl**p? Me? Am i that cheap? You want to pass me around?” i heard ngozi asked him. she yelled at him at the top of her voice.
    “ahhhh! God forbid ooo, baby no be wetin i mean o…i no tell you that thing yesterday?” he replied in a very prodigious tone.
    “what didn’t you tell me?…you think i didn’t hear your conversation? Continue!” she barked on.
    “ahh baby! That guy i teh you na” he said, i peeped at them, he was standing up, ngozi’s hands rested on her waist. Maybe ready for a fight.lol.
    “wetin he do? Na him you wan pass me give?” she asked switching into pidgin.
    “i no know who tell that rubbish” he said feigning annoyance. I was stifling my laughter. I laughed in whispers.
    “so?…” asked ngozi, her voice lowered.
    “na dat guy carry bor boizz attack me the day we push here so i tell flames make we go threat im f*** up…” the was silent for a while. I was really trying to stop myself from laughing.
    “so you won’t mind sharing the guy you want to ‘hit’ with blue or flames rather” she said scoffing. Clear she didn’t believe him.
    He was speechless and clueless. He raised his hands in a bid to defend himself but they fell on their own will.
    I had forgotten i was peeping.
    “what are you doing here” Becky said. I startled and snapped back to life.
    ” i was… Was…” ahhh! Am i speechless also? I was shut of words and stared at Becky who walked out into the backyard I heard footsteps. Ngozi appeared behind and kpoooaa! A 10volts slap was delivered to me directly on my nose….

  27. Bluestarry


    “Ahhh! Why you slap me na”
    i queried as my tears gland swelled up.
    She threw daggers and arrow with her almost bloodshot eyes. Chai! She was really angry.
    Bouncing in, she pushed Joe who had blocked the entrance of the door with his huge frame. Along came the wounded captain, rubbing his dark red cheeks. Obvious, very obvious he had received his own portion of NEPA, which was capable of charging a limp manliness.
    I stood rubbing my red cheeks trying to weigh the velocity of the slap. Was it 10volts or more than? It was sure more than because the speed it came at the target was almost faster than a bullet.
    I reluctantly went in to the house, my nose giving me the pains of it own. Once inside, the pains effaced As i picked up my phone to call lekpakelly again.
    Surprisingly, she picked at the first ring. I braced up and sat straight up, anticipating beautiful angelic voice.
    “hello pretty” i said.
    “is it now you remembered to call?” she shot her first dagger-like question. I swallowed hard.
    “no honey see… I was busy… Just arrived from ermm… I travelled to….” i ransacked my brain for the appropriate answer along came none. However she had interrupted with her annoying laughter when a right answer came popping up at the wrong time.
    “hahahhahahhaha” she laughed.
    Her laughter got me nervous and all the same curious. I couldn’t help asking her the reason behind her laughter.
    “is this the first time you use those lines?‎‏ you used the first time you called. Almost weeks ago?” she queried
    “and to say you were busy or travelled, do busy people login morning till night on ?” she asked and hang up leaving totally speechless. Who do she think she is to be cutting my calls?
    Come to think of what she said, chai It was true o! Through out the boring weeks, all i did was to login on any social media i registered, whatsapp not being an exception, infact i lived in there. As far as PHCN brought their epileptic power Supply or when captain cockroach power on his i-better-pass-my-‘enemy’ lister like generator. An engine he lied to us, saying it was a second hand product, a grave lie it was.
    I almost called him “snt lienus” but i knew better, if truly i wants to charge my phone , then i shouldnt utter anything that will get the captain annoyed.
    But seriously was that even a generator? I was sure it wasn’t a second hand product nor fith not even 10th. It looked like a generator which was more of an inherited thing, believing to have Been passed down from his generation down to the person who had the guts to sell such a malfunctioning gen to my friend. And he bought it? Wasn’t surprise, sometimes he thinks like a Yabaleft patient.
    The gen produced such an amazing noise. When i say ‘amazing’ you should comprehend what am trying to portray.
    Seriously speaking, if you happen to pass through our street when the gen is in use, you’d think the house was were people come to grind their casava

  28. Bluestarry


    An old woman once came to the compound with a basket full with casava. Thinking that was our occupation. The gen sure sounded like the kind of gen used for that purpose.
    Sorry for taking us out of the main story. Back to the main scenes.
    I dial back her number immediately she hang up but was surprise to hear a male voice.
    “see am serious…… It just that…”
    “pls she is not around you can call letter but ill advice you to stay away from her” the baritone voice said.
    I was speechless as usual. Hang up and tossed the the phone under the pillow. Why was i even disturbing my soul cause of a girl? I sighed.
    Whistling, i resolved to arrange my bed and sweep the floor. It Been ages i did that. Captain came in smiling, he lowered his stinking a*sss on my pillow.
    “comot your nyash sharp sharp” i ordered. He reluctantly stood up and sat on the stool beside the bed.
    “make we go na” he said.
    “go wetin”
    “ahh! Ahh! The babe house na”
    “which babe na”
    “da fo me ba o! The babe i gist you for backyard make make dem come catch me…us”
    ” na you dem catch, abi dey slap dem give you no shock you veriweh” i said putting on my trouser.
    “i no go lie…that gehh slap me i see my papa grave for villa” he said and i laughed. I only imagined what his situation was like. His demeanour after the slap looked like a person who had an encounter with a ghost, or probably slap but not to death.
    “na im be say your own worst pass mine o” i said still laughing.
    “dey dere na…. I almost see my mama own join”
    “my own na electric voltage she dash me o! E shock me die”
    “or na im be say i go dey charge phone for your anus…which charger for enter sef o…. Okay tecno4life charger go do” he said smiling.
    “na your pale dem go pluck charger for nyash ntun!” i cursed.
    “so aw dey baba be ?” i asked.
    “she dey na… E don forgive me na… Dat why i like her… See love is sweet o it dosent look back on your misdeeds. I love her and i know na she love me pass sef even though na her punnany i love pass… Chaiiii e sweet pass alomo… Just go look for love” i laughed hard at his advice. Was that an advice? Lolz!.
    Minutes later i was through, and we marched out of the house, Joe and rock wanted to tag along, we told them we were heading to the market and they stayed back. Lasii idiats!
    We strolled along the path passing behind iyawo’s shop. I wondered where he saw the gehh and where he was taking me to.
    I begin forming words ill used on her if ill even set my eyes on her. How will she look like? Sexy or….? You know captain can be mad atimes. His own definition of beauty will be the opposite. I wondered how the girl will be. Maybe as ugly as the girl that came into the room in the hospital the night i was bl*******g peace. Remember? That way back in season1.
    Would we even see her at home?.
    “how you dey sure say she go dey house i no even know why i follow you sef” i lamented.
    “i don dey study de babe like one week now… so she go dey house sure sure” he said his eyes glowing confidently. this guy dey study babe o since. e go comot for house for morning when him bee go school, then will return evening. An act which earn him a free electric charges.
    That fateful day, i confirmed the sayingmany are mad, but few are roamingcaptain was mad. Small remain im bolts and nuts go loose, and he shall roam.
    And so we stood under the sun like two mad aaboki, awaiting the earth goodness, as described by our landlord, my landlord, captain cockroach.

  29. Bluestarry


    ” if she no dey house nko?”
    “if she no dey house , then thunder go fire you blockus”
    “same to you my brother” i returned. He pointed at a house not far away from us saying it was where the girl lived.
    My heart beat increased as we got nearer. I suddenly wished i didn’t comply to him. How would i confront a girl ive never seen before? The last thing i wanted taking home was a slap. If i receive such, i was sure going to electrify captain with his own share of the current. It may help him forsee his future as he saw his dad’s grave. Who knows it might help him, cause he had no future. Even though i may not receive any reserve electric charges form a living soul, i resolved within to give out my own reserved current, the ones I’d recieved from my fellow people, mostly females.
    Common! It been ages i slapped a fellow. Captain will bring the jinx. It was even a help to foresee his goals, his dreams if he had one. A help it was and i would do anything to help me friend, my captain, my landlord.
    “i no know as i go talk o” i voiced out my mind as we reached our destination. A large compound it was, serene environment, flower decorated the external part of the building. This was classy.
    How will i, dress in brown black trouser and an almost faded red t shirt go to woo a girl this classy. My eyes wandered and got stuck to the Toyota camry, park under the almond tree.
    “hhhaaaahhhh! Oya make we dey go” captain said. I looked at him in surprise, was he not the one that said we should come woo the girl?
    “i bin wan carry you come show the gehh house so you go know say the babe set wehh” he said taking a step backward. Was he mad? Surely he was, and it was hightime i gave him current.
    I walked after him and kpoooaa! It landed on his left cheek. A great pain struck my fingers and palm as it came contact with his bony cheeks and jaw. did i slap a human or a non living thing? he was savoring the moment as his eyes were closed.

  30. Bluestarry


    He stood tall, i wondered what image was going through his mind that moment. I imagined what his future will look like, maybe an old man riding a keke napep, he so much love that profession. You know it not easy manovering your way through the city filled with automobiles and people, bro it called talent.
    As i watched captain staring at the sky i became worried and jealous. Was his future that big? Slowly his gaze came down. He grinned.
    “captain wetin do you na” i asked pulling his hand.
    “thank you…thank you…” he mouthed in whispers. Chaiiii! Captain was mad o! Finally? he looked like some one who had visited Yabaleft before but i didn’t want to be the nigga that was to rekindle his powers.
    “thank you Jesus, at your service lord” he continued. When last did he pronounce that name Jesus? Chai! My slap surely work wonders in this world.
    I won’t forget the day i slap a man in our neighbourhood. He was trying to chyke my mum, imagine! we were coming back from market. he ran like say something pursue am. My mum laughed and got ribs ache.
    Me sef run o i bin the think say something dey my back o cause the race the guy piloted ehhh, usain bolt never practice that one yet.
    I was so surprised to see captains eyes closed, murmuring incoherent words. Was he praying? Question for his gods.
    I shook him hard.
    “dont disturb, the spirit is moving, it circulating..” he mouthed with seriousness. This guy don mad atlast o!
    To say i was worried will be an understatement. Everything i did to bring the ol captain was in vain, i shook, i kicked. He stood, still praying. I have to say he was praying since i could pick out words such as: fire, bind, spirit, Jesus.
    “chineke” he mouthed, his eyes bulged out. Now he was swerving from Jesus to chineke. His madness has surely graduated.
    “look back ohh Jerusalem and see the queen i told you about” he preached. Who was Jerusalem? Reluctantly, i turned. My eyes met the most gorgeous lady I’ve ever seen. She was sexy in all ramifications.
    She was cat walking out of her house to us. My eyes bulged out too as i stared at the most beautiful girl on planet earth. For the first time captain saw a good thing.
    She was dressed in red top and a knee length skirt. I begin imagine how her laps will feel. How fresh her b**bs and how she moans when being bl***ped.
    Great Manchester she got, fully positioned.
    She walked past us as if we didn’t exist. As she passed, her back came into view, big and enormous, Chai! I couldn’t help letting such a priceless jewel escape and so i called when i found my tongue.
    “hi…. An…an….gel” did i just stammer. She stop and gave us a glance. Her eyes met mine and i forgot everything i stored in my brain. She walked over to us, i swear she heard captains heart beat, it sounded very loud, more like the drums of nursery school children when going on parade.
    Then i remembered her as she got closer. She was the girl i met in the bus on my return from church road.
    They girl i was staring at still my money got removed by the fat men.
    I almost fainted due to high bp, seems she recognised me and she smiled. A smile that melted my heart, melted my soul and spirit if i had one, and gave me great peace within.
    Captain was speaking in tongues again, shaking his head and snapping his fingers. Smh for him

  31. Bluestarry


    “hi…” she said as she advanced towards us. Every steps she took rhymed with my heart beat.
    “hi..hi.. ” i stammered yet again. Common, what wrong with me? Stuttering like a school kid? I composed my self and braced up as she extended her hand towards mine which were pocketed as sign of being composed, body and soul. I wouldn’t let a mere girl take away my confidence and ego.
    Since my right hand was pocketed and the left free, her extended hand came, directed towards my almost rigid d***.
    Thinking she wanted to touch or grap the poor thing which had been starved for almost a month, i immediately used my left hand to protect it from the scanning eyes of the wicked.
    An act which earn me a grave look from her. She laughed it off. My Bazokka was now rigid, and it could be seen as i removed my hand to shake her soft delicate hands, which added more blood to my already heavy bazokka.
    After the handshake, captain had fully recovered from his future. He was smiling at the lady in my front, his eyes were only fixed on her exposed bosoms and fresh straight legs.
    “seems i met you some where” she said smiling as her eyes went down my crotch.
    “ya…but not in a good state” she laughed.
    “those men almost kill me” i mouthed as we advanced away from captain. She laughed again.
    “not every year one is opportune to meet a goddess like you . ? ” she blushed, ya, i saw it.
    “you live around?” she asked.
    “ya… The next street…your house is a wow!” i complimented. She gave that charming smile again.
    “so you live alone?” i asked
    “why do you want to know?”
    “to take precautions when coming on a visit” i said smiling. No be only she fit smile na. She laughed again. I was so happy she laughed to my words. Maybe faking them, who knows.
    “you’ll get yourselve battered with cutlass” my heart skipped a beat as i heard the word, ‘cutlass’. I remembered as my oga landlord chased me around with his two legendary doubles edged cutlass. A devil he was, Adamus carbon copy to be precise.
    “i was going to a junction… we ill meet next time” she said snapping me out from my reverie.
    ” ohh…okay since am allergic to cutlass, i won’t dare smelling here again, but your number please” i begged. She reluctantly called out her number loud and i immediately punched in the digits. I turned back, captain was busy with his phone, he was smiling.
    I dial her number and it went through.
    “thanks…. ” captain came over to us and greeted the lady.
    “will you come back fast?” he queried. The girl was scrutinizing him awkwardly. Maybe never seen such a coded mad man before.
    ” we will wait for you till you come back” he said smiling sheepishly at her. Without sparing him a glance, she bade me goodbye. Oops! I forgot to ask of her name.
    After she left, i was left with the mad nigga. He was jealous. Was he serious of us waiting behind for her? Didnt he heard that cutlass and agony awaited the stranded soul that goes there without invitation?

  32. Bluestarry


    I was so surprise to see him bouncing into the compound, confidently.
    I called him back, for where? He located a spot before the door and sat down.
    I went after him to inform him i was going. He proved stubborn. If only we knew what will happen in a couple of minutes.
    ” i teh you make you chyke geh gv me you go chyke carry ba? If you don do your own oya dey go, make i follow psyche my own” he said stretching his stony legs. If that leg touch you, you shall feel no ‘pains’.
    Every words and tried to make the guy reason proved abortive and so i sat down with him. I couldn’t go since i came with him, moreover, i thought he was kidding.
    “who dey dia?” a base voice roared behind. I turned, a macho man stood beside me with the biggest bull dog I’ve ever seen. Infact a tiger to be precise.
    My heart jumped into my mouth when the beast advanced, his red tongues hanging below, with leg shaking, i turned to notify my friend of the intrusion of the beast.
    Lo and behold, captain was no where to be found. Did he efface? No! Madmen dont have the powers to disappear or do they? If yes, then captain was one.
    On the place he sat was his palms, he disappeared without his shoes? The bark of the dog brought me back from my shock and i sprang up and ran the race of my life, followed closely was the bull dog and the owner. I was indeed done for.
    “cutlass…cutlass…catch am… Bone dey for you” those were the words of encouragement given to the dog by the man to catch me.
    A hot liquid ran down my legs as i ran my legs hitting my medulla oblogata.

  33. Bluestarry


    I ran a race I’ve never and will never run in the nearest future. I wouldn’t let such a beast get hold of me cause if it does, then no one will find my bones and skeletons for Burial if one will be even be conducted.
    Joe once said, that when i die, groundnut and sachet water will be given as refreshment in my burial. I feared it might come true since i was away from my parent. who would give me a biffiting burial if i get kill by cutlass?.
    Trailing closely behind was the dog. My shoes were proving difficulty, i got rid of them. I was gradually becoming tired and my toes hurt, badly. I tripped and fell like a bag of akpu. No one told me to sprang up again, i did without being told.
    The man’s shout was becoming distant, i branched a narrow path which lead into the bush.
    “i shall not die” i prayed silently as i ran. I heard no more growling sounds, i concluded i had lost the dog. Looking back, no dog was insight, i collapsed on the grasses breathing heavily. A tree was behind me.
    My mind went back to the action film i just experienced. Where was captain? I always suspected ngozi was a whitch, maybe she cut small dash my nigga.
    But wait o! Na so her witch strong? I wouldn’t mine to take a sip of it if wintches are given in liquid or solid. Which everway, i concluded if i get out of the race alive, i would ask ngozi for a greater portion of her solution. As elisha asked Elija. Who knows, it might be of help in desperate times.
    Just as i was about laying my back down on the grass, i heard growls, tilting my head upwards, my eyes popped out of it socket as i saw cutlass, sitting un front of me.
    My brothers and sisters, i dont know what happened again, i dont know how i jumped on the paw paw tree beside me.
    I just saw myself on a tree, clasping on it as if my life depended on it. I held and gripped onto the tree as i lifted my legs up high.
    My heart beat shook the tree with every beat. I looked down, the dog was trying to eat the base of the tree.
    Laughters erupted from the nearby bush, and the macho man came into view.
    “bros wetin you dey do up dia” he asked.
    “i wan pluck orange”
    “na orange tree be that?”
    “i dont know…am a stranger o” i replied my voice shaking. although the situation i found my self didn’t warrant the answers i gave him.
    My hands were getting weak and so were my Legs, but i dare not let go of my tree.
    “bros no be steal we come do o ” i said, my voice almost gave way to cries.
    ” i say na steal you steal? But next time make enquiries before you chyke any babe” he adviced patting the dogs head. How i go the make enquiries? I swear that the first time i heard that such an advice. Enquiries before wooing? Smh.
    “oya come down… come go” he said leading his tiger out of the bush. I didn’t want to come but my hands were aching. What if he was waiting out there for me?
    Reluctantly i came down, my heart was still pounding, i set out of the bush.

  34. Bluestarry


    I walked along the path leading me out of the bush. When i was out into the open, i surveyed the road, no sign of cutlass and the macho. I gave a sigh of relieve and moved out of the bush. [hr]
    I arrived home minutes later. I opened the door and went in through the corridor. The house was unusually quite. Abi guys don comot?.
    I listened attentively, someone was wailing, . I paused on my tracks. It sounded male-ish if there is a word like that.
    It sounded like captains voice . I was surprise o!
    “na who the shouts” i thought loudly.
    What wrong, why is he wailing like that? Or his normal lame jokes? I barged open the corridor. No soul was seen, i strolled down a bit.
    I didn’t see any body. The scream came again, i followed the sounds of the voice. It led me deeper into the woods.
    What a surprise i met. A distant away from me, A bush was cleared,
    Lo, captain was tilling the earthen soil with a shovel.

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