37: The LASTMA List Of Crimes

posted in: Season 8: No Place Like Home | 34

Three thug-like men Descended on me and grabbed the car key.

There was no need struggling or fighting with them, they outnumbered me.

I stood and watched as one of them entered my car, started the engine and moved away towards Mile 2 area.

They were on uniforms, with their names boldly written on them.

One Kayode Tijjani was one of them.

“Bros go to their office near Mile 2, that’s where they are taking your car. You should not have stopped here” One transport Worker said. He was one of the Agberos loading buses that were going down to East.

“But it was you who told me to stop the car there” I said.

“Yes but i didn’t know they will come here this morning” He said.


There was money in my car, it was hidden in two places; one at the pigeon hole and the other under the floor Mat at the back seat.
They were likely to find one of them.
There was no need wasting time where i was.

I stopped a Bike man and asked him to follow them.

Due to the small hold up on the Badagry Expressway that morning, it took them about 10 minutes to get to their office.

They were stopping about the same time the Bike man was stopping me.

I jumped down from the Bike and rushed to the car.
The one who drove it had killed the engine, and was about to open the pigeon hole with the ignition key when i opened the passenger front door.

He stopped what he was doing and asked that i go to the office and fill a form.

The Bike man had followed me and was asking for money.

“Give me the key. I want to take money from the pigeon hole to pay the Okada Man” I said.

He took one look at me and threw the key, then he said, “Do quick and give the key back to me”.

Since his side of the door was closed, I closed the passenger side and pressed the ‘Lock’ button on the head of the car key.
The entire central lock system of the car clicked; the lights blinked, indicating that the doors had been locked.

The LASTMA man was locked inside.
He watched as i paid the Okada Man and started walking towards the office.

I knew i was in serious trouble but i preferred the trouble to losing my money.

I knew that the moment the LASTMA saw the money there, i was going to loose all of it or a higher chunk of it.
They would simply detain me until i agree to pay what they demanded. They knew i would have no patience to wait for the whole day. They didn’t care where i was going, they would only care about the money.

I was a few meters from the office before i clicked the “Unlock” button.
Due to the distance between me and the car, i was not able to hear the unlock click but i saw the back lights blinked.

I watched as the furious idiot jumped down from the car, closed the door and started rushing towards me.

I calmly locked the doors again and said to the security man standing at the door.
“I want to fill the form, they brought my car here”.

He stepped aside for me to enter and immediately i entered, i looked back on time to see the idiot struggling with the huge security Man at the door.

“You won’t leave here with this car today” He was shouting at me from the door.

It seemed the security man didn’t allow him in.

Without stopping, I walked to the counter and told the woman there that my car was brought there.

She asked for the kind of car it was and i told her.
She looked in a ledger and said that no such car has been registered with her that morning.

“Where is the man that brought you with the car, he haven’t registered the car number here with me” She said.

“Aunty the man is still outside” I said.

“What happened?” She asked.

I told her everything the way it happened. I also told her what happened with the LASTMA driver.

“Do you understand that what you did is dangerous? You dont have the right to lock him inside your car” She said.

I told her that i knew but that i mistakenly pressed the lock button.

After taking a long look at me, she made a call.

Two minutes later, another LASTMA officer came inside.
The lady narrated to him what happened and told him to follow me to the driver and settle things first.

“Make sure you dont allow them to fight inside this facility” She said.

Inside the facility? So we could fight outside.

I picked up that sentence and followed the man outside.

As we walked towards my car, we saw the LASTMA driver deflating my tyres.


He looked up and saw me standing with the superior officer.

“Your own don finish today. Na me you lock inside car” He shouted as he stood up to come on me.

“Stop that. What happened?” The superior officer asked.

Abayomi gave a brief history of the past events.

The Superior officer turned to me and gave me a light slap on the cheek.

“What you did was wrong even if you did it by mistake. Dont try that ever again” He said to me.

I frowned my face and waited.
Abayomi had managed to calm down.
The Superior officer copied my car plate number and asked me to follow him.

We got to another office and he brought out a sheet of paper for me to read.

Written on it were the laws i broke by stopping my car along the road, even if it was at a popular motor park.

Under the laws i broke, were the penalties i was going to pay for every crime i committed.

My first offence was not putting a triangle behind the car.
The Second was that i switched on the the back lights without being inside the car.

The officer with me pointed out the laws i broke to me and the prices listed beside them.

Each one of the three offences cost 20,000.

I had just discovered that i owed Lagos State Government a whopping 60,000 Naira for stopping along Badagry Expressway.

Before i could say anything, he stopped me and pointed out offence number four.

‘Assaulting an officer – 40,000 Naira’.

My money had suddenly increased to 100,000 Naira.
At that stage, i knew that it was going to be difficult to go to the East that day. I already knew that nothing would ever make me to pay them that kind of money.

The worst that could happen was for them to detain my car.

Written For http://www.globalruns.com

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34 Responses

  1. Chidex

    Rubbish country….. useless power thugs. it’s a pity we can’t help it, so we have to keep living with it!! It’s everywhere u go…… in every state with different names and uniforms!

  2. jonnyanichi

    Oga Zuby at a time I vowed to kill a LASTMA officer before leaving Lagos, but i had a rethink. Those guys are basstards

  3. Yommex

    Zuby, this is Lagos. I dare say you were welcomed back to Lagos since you left quietly in the first place. I’m sure the adage that say “thunder not striking twice”, will be your watch word henceforth. Nice update.

  4. Konmight

    This is serious. I hate those lastma guys, they are taking law into their own hands.

  5. Kaymolla

    Those silly LASTMA officers……they now see it as a way to milk people…..its well bro….

  6. Eunisam

    is like i have read something like this before.may be in my past life.zuby true/false?

  7. welder

    Really…this is a rogue government…yet, some people want this APC thugs to continue in government.

  8. davido

    Our Government makes me speechless. How does one pay soo much wit soo little income

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