There were times in every man’s life when you think the world revolves around you.
All along, i had been forced to have a warped belief that Maria would jump at the offer or proposal of marriage but i got the shock of my life when she said,
“We can’t get married. You are never going to be there for me even if you promised to. It is not that i don’t want to be with you but the truth is that you can’t be with a woman. You are as honest as one can be but lets just face the fact. You got exposed to the life of the western people early and you grabbed it with two hands. You are a lion who can not be caged in one place even if you wanted to. Therefore this is what is going to happen. I wanted a part of you in my life and i believe i have it now. We will remain together for as long as we can but i do not want to be disappointed when you disappear. I tried once to build a life around you in Napoli but you shocked me. It is true that what i was doing then was the reason why you left but we could have talked about it instead of disappearing with my money and my girls. There is going to be another excuse why you will leave and another and another. If you really care for me, please consider what i am saying. Go out there and follow the path God carved out for you, every other thing you do will never satisfy you”.
“Is this the reason why you have been depressed since we heard the news of the pregnancy?” I asked for the sake of saying something.
“No, not really. The truth is that i knew i was pregnant. I found out when i didn’t see my menstrual period. I felt it; I am a woman. I had been thinking about telling you but i didn’t know how. If i could have avoided throwing up, i would have done that. I wanted to pick up my phone and call you one day with the news that i am pregnant for you. Perhaps that would have made you to think about settling down. I knew about the pregnancy and i was scared. That was why i insisted on traveling with you. I was scared to stay alone. There was a time i thought you’d found out in Berlin but you didn’t” Maria said.
She was crying as she speak.
I was confused for the first time since it all started. Looking back at what she said, she was right.
I was never created to stay in one place. It would be almost impossible to change that, not now anyway.
The rest of the day was the most emotional i had witnessed. There was everything to talk about yet there was nothing to talk about.
We eventually slept off and when we woke up in the morning, i greeted and hugged her first. Then i said, “Get ready, we are traveling to Italy and we are going through air”.
“I don’t like flying and you know” She protested.
“That is true but we are going to Sicily Island. It is very far from here and i am never going to allow you on a long journey with train again” I said.
After some more protests, she got ready and followed me downstairs.
We took a cab to the airport and purchased tickets there; then we Waited for an hour before flying to Palermo in Sicily Island.
We left the airport after clearance and took a taxi to Trapani. At Trapani, we took a boat to the Levanzo Island. It was a beautiful small village sitting on a small hill. The houses were medieval and Everybody lived together.
We found a small consulting firm and walked in.
“We need a small apartment here and i want you to say it to this man in Italian language” i said to Maria.
“Small apartment for what?” She turned and asked me.
I told her that was not the time to ask questions.
She conveyed my message to the man who after consulting his computer asked us the size of the place we wanted.
We told him two or one bedroom apartment would do.
He said there was one vacant one room apartment but the owner would vacate it in one week time.
We told him we will take it and signed the necessary paper works; then we paid for two months at €500 a month. Maria rented it with her papers since there were Italian. It was one of the reasons why i wanted her to be in Italy.
“Why do we need a house here?” that was Maria when we came out.
“This is where you are going to give birth to my child” I said.
“No, no no, i’d rather stay in Napoli and face my enemies than live here alone” She said.
“You are not staying alone, Ngozi is coming to live with you and if you need more people, i will get them for you. You will go inside Palermo and find a small work to keep you busy. As for me, I am going back to Europe to round up everything i am doing there and when i am done, I will return to you” i said as we entered the boat to take us back to Trapani.
On our way to Palermo, i explained to Maria why i wanted her to live at a place where Nigerians didn’t live. I was sure no Nigerian would agree to live in Levanzo as long as the person wanted money.
“If you say Ngozi is coming to stay with me, it is OK but have you been planning this for long? Did you find out i was pregnant? Was that why you surprised Ngozi and I with a meeting?” She asked.
“Those were all coincidence baby but the Gods definitely know how to arrange things how they should be”.
We returned to Palermo and took a cruise boat to The mainland.
“We are going to check on your things in Napoli” I suddenly announced.
“Why are you full of surprises? This is why i told you that we can’t be together” Maria said.
I had no answer to what she said; therefore i kept quiet as our boat crossed us over to the Italian Mainland.
We got to Napoli with train and took a cab to Castel Volturno where Maria lived.
Sure, someone had broken into the house and the agency managing the building had changed the locks. Maria called and told them the place belonged to her. They told us to wait for a few minutes while they get the keys to us.
They came twenty minutes later and told us that some people broke into the place a few weeks back and the neighbours had called and reported it to them. They gave us the new keys before they left.
We opened and entered the place.
” Anger … it’s a paralyzing
emotion … you can’t get
anything done. People sort of
think it’s an interesting,
passionate, and igniting
feeling — I don’t think it’s
any of that — it’s helpless …
it’s absence of control — and
I need all of my skills, all of
the control, all of my
powers … and anger doesn’t
provide any of that — I have
no use for it whatsoever.”