38B: Depression

During the days that followed my trip to Bremen, I stayed indoors. Nothing seemed to remove my mind from what happened. It was difficult to eat. I blamed myself for my actions over what happened. I was weak and a part of me wanted to reach out to Jennifer again. I wanted to run back to Bremen and beg her on my knees, I wanted to hold her in my arms again like I used to do. I wanted to carry her on my back like I used to do, I wanted her to hold my hand in the street and wave it like she used to do but the reality was that it was going to be difficult to welcome her back. There was no guarantee that she wouldn’t do it again or that she had not been doing it. I knew she would be trying to get me on the phone.

To ease my pains, I decided to go out and play with women again. It was time to open up my heart to someone else. I had to move on with my life. I decided to start with Chichi, the young lady serving food at the Afro shop. I visited their shop one afternoon and saw her sitting on a man’s lap. People were still at work, she was alone with the man. They even pretended not to have noticed me. The girl just smiled, asked what I wanted casual and remained where she was. I smiled and waved her never to mind what I wanted and walked out of the shop. That incident didn’t concern me a lot. The only attachment to the event was that I had hoped to make a move on her. She didn’t belong to me anyway.

I walked to a cyber cafe across the street and bought an hour voucher. I checked my email and saw about five new mails.
One was from Agnes. She had heard that I was back in Berlin but couldn’t find my phone number. She wanted us to meet again. She added a church address where she worshiped with many Nigerians every sunday. I replied the mail and told her that I would visit the church on Sunday.

The second mail was from a shoe company which I had contacted to see if they could be producing shoes at cheap rates for me. I wanted to be sending them down to Nigeria. They wrote that the least they could charge for a pair of shoes was €39 if I could order for 10 dozens at a time. I replied and told them that I would visit their office as soon as possible.

The third mail was from scammers. The sender had claimed to live in London. He had demanded that I send him my contact details including my bank account so that he will send 2 millions dollars into the account which we will share later. I replied and sent him my Savanah bank account number back in Nigeria. The Savanah bank had closed some weeks before I left Nigeria. I had some N200000 inside the account. Maybe his 2 million dollars could revive the bank. Who knows.

The rest of the mails were spams so I just deleted them and played with Ms Office. I had newly discovered that wonderful application but I didn’t know how to use it. I wanted to learn it but haven’t found someone who would teach me.

My phone rang. It was an unknown number. I hardly answered such calls but since I was bored, I picked it.

” Baby please don’t hang the phone on me” It was Jennifer.
” How did you get this number” I asked.
” Johnson your friend gave it to me” she said.
I remembered that I did not tell Johnson what happened between us. I also remembered that I had given her Johnson’s phone number the day we left Portugal. She had almost gotten stranded at the Tegel airport berlin because she had left her phone with me. As a result, I had told her to memorize Johnson’s number and that of my elder brother in Nigeria.
”What can I do for you Jennifer” I asked.
She started crying on the phone. It touched me to hear her cry, therefore I cut off the call. She called back ten minutes later and I answered again.

She begged for forgiveness. She claimed it was the first time. She said she had nobody else in Germany except me and didn’t know what to do when she got out of Camp.
” You know what you were doing in Lisbon Jennifer, go back to it. Bremen is a big city, I am sure there are thousands of men who would want to sleep with you. You are a beautiful girl, men like to sleep with beautiful girls” I said. She kept quiet as I continued.
” If you have something important to tell me,, please say it. I am going to change this phone as soon as we finish talking. I am also going to ask Johnson not to give you the new number” I continued.

She cried as I reminded her where I had picked her up, how I was nearly killed in Portugal because of her. How I had brought her to Germany and made up stories to help her asylum.

I had wanted her to go to school in Berlin. The system allowed people under the age of 16 to attend language schools and if the person did well, she could be allowed to attend higher schools. As a result, I had told her to use 16 years as her age.
I was going to pay for her fees if she got admitted.
Finally, I told her that I will keep her bags safe for her. She had asked what bags since she left only one bag with me. I had told her that I bought a bag for her and packed new cloths and shoes in it. I told her that I will still give them to her but that would be the end of it. She cried throughout the call duration.
When we finished talking, I decided not to change the phone number. I knew she would be calling but the decision to take the calls was mine. I pitied the teenage girl. She obviously didn’t think about the repercussions of what she was doing. She didn’t think that I could visit Bremen unannounced.

As soon as I left the Cyber cafe, Marko called. It was time for business again.

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