Chapter 25: Uncle Clement

posted in: The Preacher's Son by Rock555 | 0

Our school has a sacred law, which could guarantee someone an expulsion, things like leaving school before closing, smoking and other cultism stuffs.

I went to ease myself one day and i heard a voice behind me.
“Wetin you dey do there”

i turned around with fear and saw senior Jacob and some of his mates coming to my direction.

“Senior i come piss” i quickly repackage my urine tank and zipped my shorts and then quickly ran pass them while a knock was place on my coconut head.

Something told me to watch them so i turned and secretly followed them.

It was with great joy that i caught senior Jacob and some of his collaborators scaling the school fence to go and smoke indian hemp.

I quickly ran to Mr Ephraim’s office and reported what i saw, some teachers were ordered to go catch those miscreants and i beamed with joy that my revenge was complete.

They smoking students were ambushed and caught while some of them escape for their lives.

Senior Jacob and co were all dragged back to the school like criminals and taken to the principals office.

The greatest mistake the school did was to call me and congratulate me in front of the raging students who looked at me scornfully but could do nothing.

Word later got out that a junior student exposed an ss3 student and before that day was over different seniors were coming to jss1&2 classes to ask of the miscreant that exposed their mates.

Nobody knew it was i, so when they came to my class and ask that question i quickly got up and shouted.

“The person wey expose this senior eh, Na God go punish am”. Well God truly punish for sure.


“Can you see this boys, they are miscreants, stubborn and gruesome cultist. This are the kind of boys who visit people’s home and rob, kill and convert peoples properties” our proprietor who we called “big uncle” was speaking to the whole assembly that afternoon.

Big uncle as his name truly imply was a huge man, who never stops tucking in his shirt in his trousers and putting it on his tummy.

Even if he wore a t-shirt and jeans trousers he would also tuck it in and raise it to his tummy, he was also a sucker for punishing students who he caught with their shirts down.

He once told us that any day we catch him without tucking in his shirt we should tell him;
“Big uncle, turn your bum bum, and we should give him 24 strokes of cane”.

One boy that was in assembly that day shouted, “Big uncle, what if we catch you with agbada and you did not tuck-in.

We all turned and looked at the boy and laughed like mad men, while he was called to the podium where teachers stood to conduct assembly and was given ten strokes of cane to clear his foolish brain of any stupid questions in the future.

“If we leave them like this, they would corrupt the minds of this young ones and spoil them, and they cant be good leaders of tomorrow” he continued talking while referring to us as young ones.

I turned round to look for who he was calling young ones because as for me, i no be small pikin again.:D

“To prevent these kind of things to happen in my school again and corrupt these young ones, i declared you all are expelled permanently from this school, and for smoking in school you are all to be given 24 lashes of cane each” big uncle finally declared and brought his big cane out.

Some of the students who were caught started shaking because big uncle’s cane was the most dreaded in the whole school.

They were laid one by one on the floor and trashed. We all watch in amusement while the scratched their arse and rolled around until it came to senior Jacob’s turn.

We all waited to see how the most dreaded prefect would scratch and scream, he laid down gently and big uncle started flogging him.

We counted in our minds and we were expecting him to start shaking but nothing happened, he just got up and cleaned his trousers and walked away.

The shock on the face of big uncle, the teachers and we the students started screaming and hailing the iron man who defiled big uncle’s cane.

We totally forgot that his was the villain and even screams by the teachers to shut us up was to no avail.

We all went home that day aspiring to be like senior jacob in the future.

What i forgot was that i told God to punish the person that reported them, and God answered my prayer a little bit quickly. Mine was worse.

The worst day in my entire school life.

Mr clement: was our english teacher, he loved composing grammars like he studied in the university of cambridge.

We all hated him because his class was boring and so uneventful because you cold find yourselves sleeping when he opens his mouth to start speaking.

I always watch his adam’s apple because it seems it was trying to come out of his mouth and his lessons is always long.

That fateful day, mr clement was taking the assembly which meant we were going to suffer big grammars alot and other stuffs and so out of frustration i shouted or my mouth ran out rather too loudly when i said “let this man close this his dirty mouth and allow us go to our classes.

That was my mistake because at that moment a female prefect who was passing by my line heard it and pulled me out.

My mates were begging her that i said the word with mistake but she was adamant and dragged me out, maybe she was senior Jacob’s girlfriend because she really vented her anger on me.

I was reported to the senior prefect who took me to the uncle clement, but the man was a God-fearing man, he just looked at me and said he has forgiven me.

I was overjoyed at the outcome and i quickly knelt down to thank him, but my punishment was not yet over.

“What did he do” a voice i had knew too well spoke. uncle sunny was still wielding his koboko and was passing by when he saw me kneeling and his over-sabiness made him inquire what was wrong.

“So you said you are stubborn like this eh, today you would smell your arse, oya follow me” uncle sunny shouted at me even when uncle clement told him to stop that i had been forgiven.

I was dragged to the staffroom and what i dreaded most happen. Legend has it that nobody that is punished or found punished in the staffroom went un scared.

So it was it great sense of regret that i set my foot in the staffroom and i was asked to kneel down.

Any teacher that came in always asked what i did and when told they usually plant either a heavy slap or knock on my head and face and so that came in with their fresh cane which they took to class and touched nobody with always break it on my arse.

I cried that day till i started laughing, i was punished from assembly period till long break and when i was finally released my life had changed.

I had four fat horns on my head due to multiple knocking,with two riverine marks on my face like that of Benue and Niger and it was filled with designs of peoples fingers which slapped me.

My shorts were also feeling heavy like i poo but i know it was due to the huge rods that was used to pamper my arse as if they were constructing rail way road. I was sure that if i was called for soldiers recruit i would have passed all their terrible tests.

I made my way to the stream to wash my white body which looked like that of a labourer in a cement factory and i was joined by a small group of sympathisers who bribed me with sorry and even went to buy things for me to eat.

I had entered into the black book of Goodnews secondary Grammar school. Atleast it was not senior Jacob that was a gangster hero. i was also the talk of the school and my bad boy status increased.

But i promised myself that i was not going to be bad again because nothing was gained from it all. Even though i was bleeping brilliant and had never got less than six right from my nursery school. I still saw myself as a failure who could not stop keeping himself from trouble. And i tried hard to stop it but i just keep on getting worse all over again.


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