We went to a river called Shandan, it was famous for its catfish which children went to catch, but the disadvantage was that it was fast flowing and could transfer one to the realm of the spirit
After committing my heinous crime, i escape to go and catch fish thinking that if i bring back some fishes my sins would be forgiven or so i tot.
We got to the river and caught some worms to use as bait for the fishes, chokolo started and he caught three fishes, my body was scratching me and i was eager to catch my own.
‘Chokolo give me na’ i pleaded.
He handed it over to and without waiting for instructions i flung it in the river and i quickly drew it out.
‘Why i no catch anything na’ i queried him. He laughed at me and told me to calm down. I threw the hook back in and sat down waiting, after a time there was a thug at the end of the string, i was excited and flung it out with all my might.
I took a look at the creature i brought out and tears almost came outta my eyes, while chokolo laughed till he fell on the ground. I had caught a crab.
‘Your father, you think say i come here for you to come chop my worm, na God go punish your plenty legs’ i cursed with rage.
I threw the crab on the ground and took another worm and fixed on the hook and threw it into the river, i waited again and had another thug.
‘If na another crab better carry your yeye mouth comot for my meat o’ i warned the river.
I pulled the hook and a fish came out but it fell near the river boundary, i quickly ran to get it, then i felt a sharp pain. The crab i insulted and threw away had caught me under my leg.
‘Chineke, i don die o’ i cried, and slide with the wet shore surface and i was about landing in the water. I had already seen myself in heaven because i could not swim, i was going to look for Michael jackson in heaven and show him i know how to dance more than him, then something stopped my heaven surjorn.
‘Na who dey stop my missionary journey na’ i shouted with my eyes closed.
‘if i leave you eh, na water you go drink tire’. That was then i remembered i was not dead yet and i begged him to draw me up.
I took the crab and flung it back to its water place, and took my poor fish home. The slaps i got that day made me caught yellow fever but not before i fetch the drinking water first.
‘Uduak wetin you dey do with your bag for head?’ my elder sister scream jolted me out of sleep.
I had caught yellow fever, a sickness that makes me do many things while sleeping, that day own, i carried my travelling bag on my head and was going out to the parlour when my sister saw me.
My dad thinking that i was going for a witch meeting took me to the parlour and took a knife with him.
‘Oya confess now or i would cut your prick’ i wondered when my prick, witch meeting and knife became one family.
‘Make him cut am na, no be him no go get grandchildren’ i said in my mind while looking at him solemnly.
‘Leave am na, na sickness cause am’ my mother saved my dick. I was allowed to go and sleep, but not without been informed that i was to be taken to mama nurse for treatment, the sound of mama nurse name cured my sickness already.
Mama nurse was a retired nurse who gave injections like she wanted to bore a hole in your bottom, so it was with deep signs of regret i slept that night.
‘Good morning mummy and daddy, i don well, my body no hot again’ was the first statement i spoke that morning, for me the fear of mama nurse was the beginning of understanding.
‘Em don’t worry, you would still take the injection’
‘Chai my yansh don red’
We went to the woman’s house and knock, i was praying for her to be away, but before my prayer reached gate of heaven she opened the door.
‘Ma my son has fever’
‘My body just hot o’ i corrected with a fresh cold catching me.
‘Ok bring him let me prepare the injection for him’ the expired nurse said words that sounded like ‘bring him in lets put him in detention’.
We sat in the parlour waiting for my arse sentence, when the old woman came with a long syringe and two brown bottles. I almost ran outta the door but my mom held me put.
I watched as the concoction was prepared and i was called to come collect the injection. My legs became dry in fear and i forgot how to walk.
‘Chei i don die’ i screamed as the old witch stabbed my arse with the needle. When she was through i could not move my legs, it seems my legs had been amputated.
‘Mummy i no get leg again’ i screamed with pains and anguish.
They all laughed at me and i was told the chloroquine injection usually numbs ones legs.
My mother carried me on her back like a baby which i enjoyed but i told her that i would never get to come to the nurse place again, a promise i never kept for long.
I went home to meet a goodness(abi una think say my surname na bad luck).
My dad had bought for us children an apkroka(don’t check dictionary o, it means something that is very rugged or strong) nokia 3310 handset.
Mehn that was my best day ever.
The phone was a black big nokia 3310 phone which made me proud anytime i smuggle it out to go and show my friends, who were eager to see me operate the latest gadget in town.
‘Attention, at ease’ shouted the commander of the school guide, who were performing during one of our friday socials day.
‘Breaking yansh’ he shouted. And his comrades all fell backwards like logs of wood. We were all in shock because we wondered if their bodies were not made of flesh and blood.
They kept on performing different skills and display to our amazement. I promised to do the same thing if i reach house that day.
‘Chokolo make una come see one new style i don learn for school’. They all gathered inside our parlour and my sister shouted ‘breaking back’ and then i fell like a bag of garri on the ground, it seem like i had broken my backbone because my head was in shatters and a ripple of headache caught me.
‘Why this people no announce say don try this at home na’ i cried while holding my head while every one were laughing.
At the end of the school year i had taken first again and we were given holidays and we were promoted.
It was announced in church that we would be having our children’s day so we were asked to come prepare for that day, we were given drama, choreography and other stuffs.
One of the day i was about going to practice that day with my younger brother and we were about crossing the road. The last thing i remembered was something like a black cloth obstructing my view and then i landed on the other side of the road.
I had been hit and thrown to the other side of the road by an okada(a bike) my head was gnashing blood and my stomach was bleeding. I saw my brother and some people gathered round me and were asking me of my father’s number and other stuff.
Then one of my sunday school teacher came at that moment and took me to the general hospital where i was operated on and stitched.
When i finally woke up i saw most of the elders and pastor in our church and i also saw my church crush ‘esther’, they were all waiting for me to wake up.
When i woke, the amount of delicacies i saw that day made me wish i had gotten accident over and over again, i ate that day till everyone were complaining whether i was truly hospitalised or not.
When i looked in the mirror my two teeth had been broken which made me sad but i had no choice.
Some women came to visit me after i was discharge from the hospital and esther and her mother were there, they asked me to show them which side i was wounded and i showed even esther came to look at my inner recess.
‘If i catch this girl eh, i go wire her’ or so i tot.
‘My wife i would buy you houses and cars and clothes etc’ i said when the children’s day reach, we were acting a drama with a girl who was my wife in the drama. A wife taller than her husband.
I kept on making empty promises and scooping her when i got a heart attack and the devil started calling me. The most funniest thing was that mr devil was an albino named bright, i wondered if devil was proud to be an albino:.
We also performed songs, cultural dance and other stuffs which enabled me to receive a gift of biscuit in my pocket after reciting psalm 119 from 1 to 100.
Finally transfer came again and we left nasarawa state to go into the city of sin- Benue state where the real action from my introduction starts.
We waived our friends, neighbours and others goodbye. I would miss them all; solomon, bright the albino, amaka my classmate, chokolo my best friend and others. I had totally forgot about my jos friends and when i had started feeling at home in akwanga.
Then i knew that no place we go to was permanent, we were only on a sourjorn to minister in places we are sent to.
I waived goodbye to the village that was now becoming a suitable environment for me, i even started missing aunty PHE sef. To this day i always smile anytime i remember her.
Now to my real adventure.