‘Garki, Mararaba, one man village etc’, were some of the places conductors were busy shouting and dragging passengers to their various buses.
We entered a bus to Garki and then took a bike to my uncle’s place who was working as an executive in a construction company.
The lived in a self contain compound with a fence round the houses, when i saw my uncle’s wife i could not believe my eyes she was as fat as an elephant, but that was the same lady that was as slim as a HIV victim during their wedding, it was when i saw her finishing a tin of powered milk in two days i believed’ marriage good o’ i concluded.
My normal routine in the house was going on errands for my aunty, eating, washing dishes and watching movies. I had no one to play with because every couple in that estate were either newly married or had little babies or kids.
All that changed when our next door neighbours brought a boy from the village as a house help his name was Chigozie.
Finally i had found someone to play with and i begged my uncle who bought us a rubber football the type that could break ones fingers if kicked with the toes but we did not care.
One day chigozie shot the ball which i dodged and it smashed on the wall and broke, i was sad but he told me not to worry that we should go to his house and get money to buy a new ball, i followed him to their sitting room while he went inside the room, the house was empty and we were the only ones around, after about two minutes he called me to come to the room, i asked him what the problem was but he said i should come see for myself.
What i saw turned my legs to jelly and my throat dried the only word i could muster was ‘i don die’. Chigozie was naked with his Dick standing erect.
‘Oya wake up go bath make we go church’
I looked at the time and it was 3:45am.
I started wondering if my uncle was an olumba olumba member that he wanted going to church by that early morning.
We finished preparing for church by 4:30am and he started driving to church.
We drove until i was wondering if my uncle was fellowshiping in a church in another state. The skyscrapers i saw that day made Jos look like a village to me, we finally reach his church and my mouth was open like i got struck with parkinson disease.
‘Mehn this church fine o’ i starmared. To say the church was fine was an understatement, it was a master piece, i saw cars like people, it was so much i wondered if somebody can know his car if he comes back from the church service.
I looked at the name of the church again and saw Family Worship Centre. I was just looking around and walking like i came from village.
My uncle was an usher in the church so he left us and went to his duty post while my mother and his wife went to drop her baby in the day care department because babies or children were not allowed into the main church, a mother would drop her child and collect a card number so that if the child is crying without rest maybe from hunger the child number would show in the main church and the mother whose number was shown on the screen would go and take care of the child and come back.
I was left alone and started turning round confused on where to go when i saw somebody that looked like Ngozi(i mentioned her in my Jos episode) so i ran out to her side.
‘Ngozi long time’
She turned and i realised my mistake, i wanted turning back when i heard the most angelic ajebo voice that could put Ngozi to shame.
‘Its alright, my name is peace and you?’
‘My name na, no my name is peter’ i quickly change my language also to queens english.
‘Ok am going to my class can we go together’ she spoke again, i quickly shook my head and we went together, i avoided looking around too much to spoil my swags.
‘I must kiss this girl like Ngozi i told myself, thinking like it was an easy thing to go around kissing girls.
When we got to our class i was looking like black sheep in a white mass of land, every body were putting on either suits, jeans, chinos, sneakers etc, but when i looked at myself i regretted why my father sew the cloth for me, i was putting on a black caftan and one God forsaken fulani shoes, i felt like crying that moment.
I sat down and the service continued till testimony time, and the aunty told everyone that they must give a testimony each, everyone started their sweet tales of her God gave their father money to buy them clothes, barbie dolls etc and when it was peace turn she said God had made her father buy her a ticket to paris, i was like wow,wow,wow.
‘so na wetin i go come talk now in other not to fall my hands’ i taught sadly, until it got to my turn and i got up with my head empty of any ideas.
‘Praise the lord’
‘My testimony for this week is that….’ i looked nervously until i said the one thing that entered my brain.
“Praise the lord”
“The lord provided my uncle money to buy me a football from USA” i didn’t lie, my USA is United State of Abuja.
They all clapped for me and my big head grew bigger with pride.
Then the preaching started and an altar call was gave, and the aunty said that if we want to be baptise by the Holy Ghost we should come out, the first person to come out was peace, on seeing her i quickly got up also and join them.
Our group was taken outside the door and the scripture was read and we started praying.
“If you start praying you would be touched by the holy spirit and would start speaking in tongue” the aunty said.
“Na which kind gift of tongues person go speak sef”
Everyone had started praying and i heard peace speaking the language of her grandpa or so i tot.
I did not want to fall my hands so i started speaking gibberish; asatokomalepa, shindararararara, okotoshipa. I kept on singing, sorry praying with half of my eyes looking at peace beautiful lips praying.
After the service she helped me to locate our car and i knew from her that her dad works in central bank and she was going to Paris for vacation.
It hurt that any big babe God give me she is always going abroad why i no dey go abroad na, i lamented.
I promised myself to toast her if i reach house that day because that evening was my uncle’s child naming ceremony and her family were invited, a move i regretted.
We played around until it was time for closing.
My uncle took us to many places for sight seeing, he even took us through the first gate but did not go further to avoid stories that touch, we took a bend and he showed us the vice president living quarters, then it was oga obj and atiku that were @ the top.
We later went to parks, mr biggs etc and my uncle bought snacks and drinks for his occasion in the evening.
That evening i put on my best house cloth and awaited the guest arrivals, the ceremony started and i had not yet seen Peace, when it came to item seven on the list, i sighted her at the back and i wanted going there but at that moment my mum dragged my hand that we should go and serve guests the food.
While serving i saw Peace and gave her the most plenty food i had on my tray and winked at her hoping she got the message.
After everything i went in search of her but she was nowhere to be found but her parents were still around. So i went to the backyard and what i saw made me hate girls more(temporary sha).
I cried myself to sleep that night.
The rest of my stay in Abuja was not that eventful and finally it was time to go back. I had already grown fond of the place and enjoyment was at its fullest.
We went back to Akwanga with lots of gifts from both Family Worship Centre and my uncle and neighbours.
‘If you see big buildings you go fear’ i bragged when my siblings and neighbours came to hear my holiday gist, i told them all the juicy details and even showed them evidence with my shoes that brought out red lights and i also showed my new ball the kind that air is filled in before closing it and playing.
Before i said jack robinson the ball had been hit from my hand and was being kicked around and played by everyone, i quickly joined in the game.
When we were playing chokolo fired a heavenly shot which went directly into a neighbours compound, after scaling the fence we searched for the ball and saw it hook inside their well. All efforts to remove it proved abortive and we all went home dejected. That was how i came back and jam problem.
But no problem was worse than the two parts of stories i told no-one; chigozie’s case and peace kasala.