The World was different for different peoples.
The White World was Heaven while The black World was the hell we knew.
The Black race was the victim of the world’s insanity. How our forefathers allowed things to happen that way was a huge mystery.
The result of all that was what was happening to me and my friends in Europe.
After being racially abused on daily basis, we would go into the bush to Sxsually abuse ourselves in the name of making money.
My life was a big mistake. I was never destined to sleep with men in the bush but that was where i found myself in Castel Volturno near Naples in Italy.
As i sat on my little mattress, i thought about what to do. Back in the Misrata prison in Libya, i had attempted to take my own life but i didn’t succeed. That thought had flashed in my mind once more. And right there inside the bush, i decided again to end it.
There was a rope which we used to tie our mattress every night before going home, i was going to tie it on the small tree over my head and tie the other end around my neck. I would find a way to fall down and make the rope take my life.
As for living the way i was doing, i wasn’t going to continue doing that. I was too young for such thing.
I had struggled to see where my future led to. The answer was that it led to nowhere good.
The information in town was that non of the Madams did something better after retiring from the prostitution industry.
They would open a small shop or bar or restaurant where they would continue to sell teenage girls out to the Men for money.
I was going to become just another Madam, bringing girls to Europe and turning them into what i had become. They would be returning some money to me and i would be bragging all over the town like the Madams did back then.
As i picked up the rope and tied one side of it into a nut, i reflected on the things i had heard about suicide and heaven.
According to the information i heard when i was about ten year old, anybody who took his or her own life would go to a place called hell, where it was all fire and no water.
God had decreed that nobody ever attempted to take his or her own life, we were just supposed to suffer and die natural or accidental deaths, those two deaths were allowed by God but to take your own life, it was a one way ticket to the dark Kingdom where Lucifer resided. We were to live there forever and ever according to our Christian doctrine. The moment we entered there, there would be nothing God can do for us again.
The same people who gave us that useless information didn’t tell us whether it was possible for the almighty and merciful forgiver to forgive anybody from that pit of hell.
How Lucifer managed to survive hellfire and lived forever was also one of those mysteries that was made for human beings not to understand.
“What are you still doing there?” I heard the voice coming into the bush, it was Melissa.
She had managed to meet me while hanging the rope on the tree.
“Maria What are you doing up there with the rope? That rope is what we use to tie our foam, don’t spoil it” she Had continued.
She was very close to me already but she hadn’t figured out how close i was to death.
I sat there and stared at her until she walked to where i was.
“I saw that man who left with you when he returned back to the road without you. So i waited for you to come out but didn’t see you. I was afraid he had done something bad to you, so i came to check. Why are you crying?” She said.
She had discovered that tears were coming down from my face. And that very moment, Melissa found out what i intended to do.
“Baby, what? Are you trying to commit Suicide? Jesus!. Come down from there now” She shouted.
She was already at the foot of the small tree and was stretching her hands. She was also telling me to come down and tears had started forming around her eyes.
I didn’t shift from where i was. I sat on the small tree branch and stared in the far away sky without seeing anything.
What was going to happen after i walked down from the tree?
I was definitely going to continue sleeping with men inside the bush for just 10 Euros.
The 10 Euro Note.
That red bill was the biggest nightmare of we the young prostitutes. The Italian customers already knew that the Mafia had decreed that anybody with that bill would get Sxs in Via Dominzia and as a result, they would change their money and come with that red note.
In our business, giving change was almost an unwritten law. Men were expected to come with whatever they wanted to pay.
We didn’t expect them to have 10 Euro Sxs and give us 50 Euros note to go looking for change. It was either they come with what they wanted to give us or they give us what they have.
I eventually came down from the tree and cleaned my eyes before walking back to the Domitiana way with Melissa.
She had decided that we had worked enough for the day and as a result, we covered our mattress with our nylon bag and left it there in the bush.
She had said that i couldn’t continue to work in that state of mind and that we must go to her place first before going home.
We got to her place and she started preaching me on how to survive in the prostitution business.
The first rule was to fortify my mind.
“You must be hard both in mind and body. Nothing in life comes easy for the poor. Just understand that you are here because your parents are not rich enough. I went through all this before i became strong. We are not going to work in the bush forever. We will return to the streets very soon but as for now, this is the trend. All the customers now comes to the highway to look for us and if we don’t go there, we cannot make any money” she had said.
I had nothing to say to her advice. I didn’t know if what she said was true or not but one thing was very clear to me.
I didn’t like what i was doing, i would never like it and no matter how much anybody tried to convince me, i was never going to adopt that lifestyle. Never!