”We may start moving out of this place in two days” I said to Andrew my cousin as soon as he returned.
I told him that the place at Surulere had been properly secured and paid for. However it still needed to be washed which I told him that I would try to do the next day.
He didn’t know what to say. CYON was the real deal for him.
I wondered why Religious fanatism had taken over my people. Was I just the only person who was bold enough to tell people that I didn’t fully agree with everything in the Bible?
I called Maria afterwards. She was at a noisy place. It was either a bar or just a hotel where live band were going on. She wanted me to come to a place called Adeniran Ogunsanya in Surulere but I told her that I wasn’t in that vicinity. I told her that I would call her the next day, then I hung up.
I called Daisy. She was missing me and said that I had changed. She was right. I had changed and it was difficult to tell her why.
”I found a new place in Surulere” I had told Daisy. She didn’t say anything. She just kept quiet for many seconds, then she cut the line off. She didn’t pick my second and the third calls. I understood her plight. She wanted me close but it seemed that it was slipping away from her.
I almost wept for her but tigers were not created to cry. They were made to make other animals cry.
I called Irene. She was quick to tell me that she wanted to come to my house.
”I am leaving the house in a few days. I found a new place in Surulere” I had said to her.
I promised to invite her there as soon as I moved.
I called Amaka. I couldn’t help but call her. I told her that I was leaving the house and moving to Surulere. She was as expected, disappointed but said she would visit me wherever I went.
I called the fuel girl. She said I had forgotten her but I told her that I was relocating to Surulere. An area I told her, was very close to her.
I called Liz in Aba. She had missed me so much and wanted to come to Lagos. I promised her that she would come to Lagos and I meant it.
I called Zainab and told her that I would move to Surulere in a few days time. She was excited. She said it was closer to her school, which meant she could always come to the place whenever the school became boring.
Finally I called Stella. She didn’t pick the call but she returned the call a few minutes later.
”are you still mad at me baby” I had said.
She didn’t answer that question, she just wished me good luck when I told her that I was moving in a few days.
After making sure that the whole of my concubines had been covered, I decided to make myself angry.
I called Mr Chukwudi.
”This poor man, I have told you that we don’t have any business until after two weeks” he had shouted.
He was drunk, I could tell that from the way he talked
I guessed people would ask me to give him the two weeks he had said if I had confided in friends but the truth was that the moment I stopped perceiving danger and stopped being suspicious, My life was finished.
The inconsistency in his sentences were too obvious but right inside my mind, I had decided that it was all a scam.
I was going to hunt Mr Chukwudi down. One unfortunate issue about Lagos was that people who lived and worked there hardly left the city even if they got sacked from their various work places and even if their business capital finished. I would use that against Chukwudi.
Lagos was one big city that swallowed every resident and hide them from the useless and silly public notions of ” you don’t have money”.
But of course Lagos as a city was still a slum compared to the places I had lived across Europe.
Lagos had a huge potential of becoming a very attractive city in the future but the problem was the residents. Over 98% of the inhabitants of Lagos were Nigerians whose mindsets would make an average white man cry.
Nigerians would drink water and threw the plastic out of a vehicle window and saw nothing wrong with that.
Nigerians would jump into a moving vehicle and believed they were smart or fast.
Nigerians would convince you to give them your money for business only to turn around and tell you that you have been scammed.
There were a lot of things which were not normal with us back home in Nigeria and the problem was that we didn’t know. We were all confused down here.
You had no reason whatsoever to throw water at someone who had come to your place unless he or she was a thief.
You had no reason to shout at a man just for being with your adult daughter, you were supposed to talk to your daughter first.
You had no reason whatsoever to expect mercy from a man whom you stole his phone which contained all his contacts.
You had no reason to shout at someone who had given you money to do something for him or her, the least you could do as a genuine person was to update them on how things were going.
But Mr Chukwudi from Onitsha was a Nigerian, just like many of us. He believed that swindling people was the same as being clever. Just get the money from him or her, run back to your village, buy a big car and take a Chieftaincy title. Take that Onwa title with another person’s money. The whole town would recognize you.
Run to the Church and give them money, They would accept it on behalf of God even if they knew what you did to get that Money.
Noooo, fellow Nigerians. Ozoigbondu said no.
If you propose a business deal with me and I gave you my money, I have the right to ask for updates. If you stole the money, I would punish you if I got the chance.
For the ladies who thought that there were big sins and small sins, I tell you this.. I dish out my punishment according to your sins.
I behave like a lawyer, the difference was that I write my own laws.
If I trust you, I expect trust back. If you betray me, you should also expect betrayal back. If you betray me and expect forgiveness, are you not silly?
If we must correct the mistakes of our people, we must abide by the rules.
I can punish you by taking your money if I felt that the money would be used to correct the mistakes you made. Madam Grace’s money was used to take care of my running with Jennifer all over Portugal. Since she was chasing me, she was supposed to pay for the running. The left over was used on Jennifer, a girl she brought from Africa.
My drug deals was business. I bought them because people demanded for them.
I only recovered my money from Chinelo in Accra, I didn’t take more than mine.
I only returned the dirty water which Madam Landlord had given me.
The only thing that made me feel so guilty was the Osu issue with Daisy. I believed I was supposed to go against the silly culture but despite everything I was doing, I was only 26. There were things I couldn’t change.
I never stole anybody’s money and I would never do that.
I am principled. I am not sentimental. But just like I said, if you kill my dog, you better hide your cat.
Mr Chukwudi would pay unless he disappeared, but I would try to hunt him down if he made the mistake of thinking that my money was for charity.
” Anybody can become angry – that is
easy, but to be angry with the right
person and to the right degree and at
the right time and for the right
purpose, and in the right way – that is
not within everybody’s power and is